Did I copy this?

So awhile ago I was talking with this girl and we were at her car and she was like I am with this other guy I have to go and I was like what- your bored slut! You would not think about me if you weren't and you know it. And she called me a few names and I was like you need to just stay with me cause I am not bored. And she was like why would I stay with you, we are already fighting. Then I was like oh that is what we do. Your a pain in the butt(yeah that is what I said) and she was like so what. So then I was like coming up with all these crazy lines like this won't be easy, this will be hard, and we will have to work at it everyday but I want you, I want all of you forever, you and me everyday.(Where the F did I come up with these lines?) Also I was coming up with crazy hand movements and she was like doing this annoying whimper. So I was like can you do something for me? First stop fake crying cause that is annoying and then picture your life 20 years from now. ( I kept it at 20, I don't care about 30 years from now.) (Again she was shaking her head all annoying) What does your life look like? Is it with that guy? Am I in the picture in the background all creepy or am in with you with my arm around you, are we at the movies or on a picnic, how do I look, how do you look are you still hot or did you gain a lot of weight? Then I was like are you with him if so Go, Go( pointing towards the road for her to leave but like pointing forward then left then right so she knew how to get out- so nice I know) I lost you once and I think I could lose you again if I thought that's what you wanted. She was like you never had me to lose me, I was like not now during my speech. Don't take the easy way out. She was like there is no easy way someone will get hurt either way. I was like shut up and stop worrying about what others want. What do you want? ( This was my moment to win her back so I was really getting into it, my one hand over my heart to show how I feel and that if I let it go it would break so I was basically holding it together with my hand while the other hand was going up and down to show her how important this was to me. Then I put my fingers together like an Italian who loves meatballs.) WHAT DO YOU WANT? ( I knew for sure I had her right then) (Moment of Silence- wait for it) She says- I have to leave. (My heart just broke so I quickly put my hands over it then I just walk away into the woods to gather myself and she drives away and I haven't heard from her since then. I guess my speech didn't work. The other guy won.

But then I realize the other day while watching the notebook on ABC family by myself that there is a scene that is almost exactly like what happened to me a year or so ago. I never watched the movie but one time it was playing at best buy and maybe as I was checking out the tv's I heard this scene playing and it all just got into my brain. There is no way I would have knowingly copied the movie but now I feel like an idiot. I know she was like man this dude is stealing lines straight from a movie no way I am picking this guy and who could blame her. I mean I was thinking this was the best speech I ever made how is she not with me and the whole time I was just copying it. No way the other guy she is with does that. So I have to say she probably made the right choice because I am sure that although his speeches are lame they are at least his own original speeches. I am so embarrassed.

Here is the clip. Also I went ahead and put Indonesian subtitles on it. Untuk apa you ask. Well, just in case anyone wanted to translate it over to Indonesian- always thinking ahead. For you all of course.

This years love and the girl next door

Two things I love: the girl next door- the movie- (come on now) and this years love by David Gray. I thought at least let me pamper myself today and put up things I love on.

Here is the clip from the movie with the song in it. I would say a breathtaking moment but that is just me, you all know how much of a romantic I am. I would mess that up in real life like spill her drink on her or say something dumb and ruin it like I do. Then be all mad at myself like I had the perfect moment and I had to go and mess it up. Then she will be like look I can't see you, I had the perfect moment set up for you and you couldn't pull it off, I need to find someone who can sorry-don't talk to me, loser. And yes I carry a radio with this song on it all the time just hoping for this moment.



Here is David Gray doing the live version of this year's love

I now have to get married at some point just to do the first dance to this song. Why? Because that is what I picture. I am not going to be one of those husbands who just sits back and lets her pick everything- as you can tell I am pretty interested in things going on around me. I mean a lot of the stuff I don't care about- like how she looks or if she is happy, but things like flowers and music- the important stuff that is what I will be about. But this song will be played. If she says no then wedding is off and she will have to tell everyone because I will be out looking for another bride.

Where we stand in our relationship

Why the F did I not tell you that I am watching supernatural. I mean if we are going to have this kind of give and take- well hold up, I give and you say nothing back to me, and I give more and you just read and say nothing back to me as if you are ignoring it. So if we are going to have this kind of relationship where I sit here and right serious things and you read it, then I should tell you I am going to watch supernatural tonight. See I am trying to get more intimate, and also I always tell people to watch supernatural because the show is really good but no one ever takes my advice. So there, you are now on the inside of part of my life. I was also thinking of showing you a vase I bought from crate and barrel but maybe I should not get to ahead of myself. I mean come on you don't even talk to me so why should I let you into something like my taste in vases. That may be way to personal. Of course the vase is sweet because unlike my looks, I actually care what the interior of my house looks like. If only you all did the same. But look at me I am a real mess so you could come back at me with that. Or with silence either one. We will see. Off to supernatural.

The light of the night fell on me!

Being cocky and funny early to the ladies

On askmen.com they have a guy on there who answers readers questions about all different sorts of things with dating and love and all that. Now he is no Dr. Love lets be honest, but I doubt you would expect him to be that good but I wanted to see what he had to offer. So I went to the one that is labeled when to act cocky and funny and more. I know your thinking Chris you can't help that you are already funny, you can't not be can you. Well let me tell you now- I can. I have other sides- serious Chris. Philosophical Chris. Charming Chris. Mad Chris. Creepy Chris. Annoying Chris. You get the point- I am like an onion as they say. You guys are just on my first layer- the funny layer. Everything under that gets less and less interesting so you get the good layer. I'll say.

This guy asks when is it too early to use funny and cocky to impress a girl. David DeAngelo- the writer giving advice and the author of the book "Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women."

Well David I would first like to ask you what is the double of zero. Yeah thanks for nothing then. Man if I wasn't busy I would totally read that book. When he says every man he means every man and that includes me and we all know I don't know how to be successful so what am I waiting for. I am waiting for winter so I can lay by the fire and read with some hot chocolate and those mini marshmallows I love so much. I can assume that is what he pictured when he wrote the book.

Anyway back to his advice. " It is never to early to bust out cocky and funny." Good because yesterday I told a girl "you would love to get a piece of me right now" then I followed it up with a "zing"(pointing the finger guns at her like I got her.) Let me tell you David it was too early- she hated the move.

He says most men waste time on traditional "nice guy" things like buying gifts, giving women compliments and calling them all the time. All of these usually have the opposite of the desired effect. They drive women away.

David I don't call I text like crazy so do I fall into this category? "Yes that is creepy Chris stop it"

David goes on to say "Even more importantly, women feel the first spark of attraction for a very different set of reasons than men do. Whereas men focus more on looks, women focus more on "intangible" qualities like a guy's personality, self-esteem and confidence. Above all, women love men who can make them laugh. That's why, when a man is Cocky & Funny, he triggers a primal response inside of women that instantly creates attraction."

I can tell you first hand women love a man who makes them laugh- I am a living testament to that. What guy would not want to pull trim the way I do. And you want to know why- because I make them laugh.Hard! That easy. Every joke I use- I have been using for years. Nothing is original and look where it has gotten me with the ladies- they can't keep their hands off me thanks David. See what I do is just pull the trigger on the primal response inside women. Instantly they are attracted. Ask any women what they wish there man had- they would say he is a nice guy but man he is not funny. Now Chris he is funny, why did I ever choose this loser over him. See what David is trying to say- all you have to be is so funny they can't get enough of you, that is why I had to stay home on Saturday night, not because I am a loser who has to watch football alone- no way no its because I had too much butt in my face that I could not breath anymore. I literally mean butt in the face like I am at the bar sitting trying to talk saying jokes having everyone crack up and then boom four butts in my face like ladies what am I supposed to do with this. I just had to have a night off from that. I needed fresh buttless air.

So David says be arrogant but make it funny and you will have the ladies. And Never Get Stuck In the Friend Zone.  Look David I am already arrogant and funny and I don't get stuck in the friend zone because lets face it you would actually have to talk to them to be friends. Who knew I was doing all David preaches. I should have written the book before him.

Chris Scarce author of "Having so many butts in your face you can't breath and you have to start carrying an oxygen tank around with you and even then you still get butts in your face."

Maybe I will still write that book, it will basically just be a biography so it should be easy.

Yoga! Boom!

I know your wondering what such a cool guy like myself is doing on the computer on a Saturday night, not out with the ladies partying it up. Yeah I live such a wild life and I always kill it on the weekends, actually during the week as well so it should be surprising to you but I just needed a break. I just had to tell all the people expecting me out that I would have to sit this one out. They were heart broken. So tonight I will just be watching the Miami game that is at the half right now. Looking for new music, doing my basketball fantasy breakdown that I do in order to get my back to back championship, catch up on shows I don't have time to watch because I am so busy partying, and updating this blog if I think of anything sweet or just whatever I guess. Who am I kidding, everything I think of is sweet. Well most of it until I turn all douchebag and then you don't want anything to do with me.

I have done yoga before and it was actually pretty hard. Much harder then I thought it would but it was nothing like this.

Couples Retreat yoga:


Boom! Boom! Nothing like a wink at the end. Love it. Boom!

My bad

I am an idiot as you all may know by now but for some reason I put Richmond Community Center wtf? Like you guys actually went to check out the podcast- well if you did I don't know if you noticed that it was not what I was meaning to talk about. It was actually Richmond Community Church. So the podcast are on there- I guess if you want you can check out Richmond Community Center if the site exist and let me know how it is, if its worth checking out because I am obviously a numbnut if you didn't pick that up by now. I don't even know what Richmond Community Center is but I assume its going well for them and they may even have sweet podcasts. I am talking as if people actually went to check it out and I know you didn't but anyway my fault. I stand corrected.

Mine is

You all should know by now that I like to listen to sermons on podcasts while I am working among other things. Today I was listening to the junkies and the other day I was listening to a Yale lecture on philosophy. It is sweet you can get lectures from different schools on itunes and also learn out loud which I was listening to the 5 love languages guy Gary Chapman- his podcast all of last week. I recommended it to someone but they didn't respond to me but they and you all should check it out. I have a lot of time to listen to these podcast so I am always trying new things to see what is good and what I just don't need to download anymore. So I saw this one girl's likes on facebook was Richmond Community Center so I decided to check it out because that is how I am I am curious. So I went to the webpage and they had podcast. So I downloaded a few of them and listened to them over this week. They had one on tell the truth, make the honor roll, crave contentment  and a lot more. I thought it was pretty good. It is very easy to listen to and relate to which is good. As I was listening I can definitely place myself into what he is talking about and figure out what I need to work on in my life. It is positive and you want to change after you hear them so overall it is a good message. The only thing I would like is a bit more theology. I know that is not for everyone but I like a lot of theology in my sermons to really push me learning wise and and humble me. I like both of these approaches though and even though I like the deeper stuff that is kind of dry I don't want to just here that only. So the other sermon like the Richmond church offers is also a good. I guess it depends on the mood for me. I think I will continue listening though but they don't put them out as fast as I could listen so I have to just hit like one or two a week. I was looking for one on bitter because the girl said last year that her church sermon was on being bitter and I always use the word and she liked the message, but I don't even know if it is the same church that she was talking about. I don't talk to her anymore and surprise it is because she won't talk to me- like anyone out there reading this is shocked haha.

So in all the time that I have to think during work I was doing some deep thinking in between podcast listens and I was like hmmmm I wonder what it is that makes girls not attracted to me. I didn't want to take this from an emotional level just a philosophical level- trying to evaluate myself which is hard to do- to take a look from the outside. Now I know a few things about me that are not good to start off with-

1. I never really meet new people
2. I am not overly welcoming when I do meet new people
3. I am at this time not much of a catch looks wise with the beard and the hair and just the overall mess of a man haha
4. When I do get to actually talk to a girl who finds me somewhat interesting I am way too much and wear my insecurities and securities on my sleeve
5. I open my mouth before I speak a lot of times and just say dumb things
6. I get obsessed with things very easily or go the other way and don't care about it at all

Alright so we all know there is many more of those but that is just for starters because I do find that there are some good things as well just they don't get seen as much. So I was thinking about the list I put up a week ago or so wondering hmmmm( once again a long hmmmmm to really let you know I was thinking right Auguste Rodin-get it?) where do I stand on each thing on the list so I will start from the top and see how I am with the first two and work on those unless I don't need to which is very likely the case in which I will move onto the next one. This list won't take long to fly through I imagine.

1. Kindness
I actually thought- yeah I am pretty kind not overly kind but kind. Then I started looking online for over an hour and realized- I am not really all that kind. I am average at best. I don't go out of my way to help people- not to say I don't give money to homeless and hold doors open and be nice to people on a regular basis but nothing that asks to much of me. So the first one on the list and I fail and I actually wonder what the deal is. Haha man well it looks like I need to work on number one. I am seeing a ton of ideas online that I like- giving anonymous money to people for food, volunteering, just pushing myself to be kinder. I am so involved in my own little world that I don't see what is going on around me and that is a shame. I call myself a Christian yet Jesus would not be proud of how little effort I have put in to being kind to others.

Kindness-Fail
I will work on it and keep you updated.

2. Honesty- I pride myself here- I am honest and I know that haha obviously if I am saying it to you it means I am. So I think I pass this one with flying colors. I may actually be too honest sometimes and could learn to hold back a little.