6 ways

Man no wonder I have no first date success. Wait for it.....

I sit across from the girl during the date. I actually told someone to not sit side by side on a date and now from shine(yahoo) where I always get all my topics, well not all who am I kidding, just trying to be modest because many of the topics come straight from my head to your hearts. But this one says 6 ways to guarantee a successful first date and number one is don't sit directly across from him.

1. Don’t sit directly across from him. Perhaps there’s a reason that the word “date” conjures up those classic images of a guy and girl sitting side-by-side, sharing a chocolate malt. When you sit directly across from your date, it gives off a confrontational vibe. “It elicits a fight-or-flight response and creates stress,” says Janine Driver, author of the bestselling You Say More Than You Think “If you can’t sit side-by-side, then push your chair to one side of the table as you sit down.” Driver suggests aiming to sit about 30% off-center; so if you’re sitting opposite him, you’d both be able to stretch your legs out without hitting each other.

What the F, why did no one tell me this- maybe someone did but I would not listen- it is still hard to believe because whenever I see it I am like that does not look like it's going to work. I was wrong this whole time. On all of my four first dates I always sat across from the girl, and of course I never got a second. Now I know why.

2. Keep your hands where he can see them. You’re not some wilting flower, you’re a secure modern woman. Show your confidence by relaxing your hands and placing them on the table. Says Driver: “Keeping your hands in your lap is too passive. You want to go into a date with confidence, which also helps the guy feel confident, so you’re really doing him a favor.”

Again no one told me this because I always try to play with myself under the table during the date without them knowing. Now if someone would have told me that that was creepy and not correct on the first date I would not have done it. I was just practicing looking confident and moving my mouth like I was talking to the girl sitting 30% off center. It still needs work but I have years to get it right.

3. Smile, for real. There’s nothing worse than a disingenuous smile, and people pick up on it very easily. “In a real smile your eyes are involved,” says Greg Hartley, author of Date Decoder. In less flattering terms, when you smile sincerely your crow’s feet come out. But your willingness to go there – being open and relaxed enough to let loose – can go a long way toward making him feel comfortable (and it may help you feel less anxious, too). So even if you’re feeling a little nervous, don’t be afraid to flash a few big let-it-all-hang-out smiles.

I always look for crows feet. I hate eye contact but I love crows feet so it works out for me. But I always fake a smile. I always tell them that my friends call me chompers and that she could call me that if she wants to, like the guy in something about mary, so then I am always having like a real forced smile on my face so they think I really am called chompers. Basically the whole night is spent tyring to get her to call me chompers, if she does I pick up the bill, if not I do the thing where I hit my pockets and even my pocket on my shirt like I am looking for my wallet and then say "this is so embarrassing but I think I forgot my wallet." Then I hit my pockets a few more times until she says shes got it and then I force a huge smile showing my teeth. She has no idea the game I am playing. I have yet to get a girl to call me it but who cares because I never pay on the date. I win either way.

Here they say are signals it is going well
1. He’s touching you. Generally speaking, a guy shows his interest in you with constant touches. According to Driver, when things are going well, you’re likely to see as many as five instances of touching in the first 15 minutes of your date. So keep a mental scorecard, one point for each "touch": He hugged you when you met up, one point. He put his hand on your back as you walked through the door, two total points. He touched your arm when he asked you what you wanted to drink, three total points. He touched your leg as he was telling you about his day, four total points, etc. Obviously, this isn’t an exact science, so don’t freak out if you only get to three or four points. But if you’re on a date with a guy and he hasn’t touched you at all, that’s probably a bad sign (unless, of course, he’s super-shy).

I never touch- I am a freaking gentleman. I have a mental scorecard though of how many lame jokes she says, I will fake laugh up to five jokes and then after that the date is done. The laugh gets more and more extreme as well so that by number five she is thinking is this dude fake laughing at my jokes. By the way I am. And your right I haven't touched you at all, that is a bad sign.

2. He seems a little nervous. It’s actually a good thing when a guy is a little anxious the first time he takes you out. “It shows he has something invested, as opposed to seeing the date as just another outing,” says Hartley. “A little nervous energy is essential.” After all, the last thing you want is some Rico Suave-type professional dater who’s only thinking, “I got this one in the bag!”

Of course I am nervous, I always am nervous. My voice starts cracking like peter Brady and I get a nervous smile going. Don't get that confused with the fake smile because the nervous one is more of a creepy looking smile. Both are creepy don't get me wrong its just the nervous one is creepier. I like hold the water glass with two hands and even though I hate spills I end up spilling at least half my cup of water. Which makes me hate myself for at least two mins, I am like don't talk to me for two mins until I can calm down. So we sit there in awkward silence which I love. I constantly apologize until she is like enough already what is your deal and get your hands on the table because I think you might be playing with yourself. And I am like oh this old thing down here, it helps me calm down I am not doing it for pleasure at all. I am just nervous, which is a good thing right, and then I start going to town even harder. And I am like now its for pleasure-boom date is over I ruined it again. I don't get it is it me or them. I just have not met the right girl yet.

3. . He’s looking at your lips. As the night goes on, if you catch him looking at your lips that's also a good sign. “When a man looks at your lips, it’s sexual. It shows he wants to kiss you,” says Driver. If you’re not sure whether he’s feeling it or not, when you catch him glancing at your lips you’ll know that he is.
While the signals that someone throws off can be telling, don’t get so wrapped up in trying to read his body language that you lose track of the overall vibe of the date. The signs mentioned above are a good barometer, but they don’t always tell the whole story. “Women are naturally intuitive,” says Hartley. “Reading body language is about putting into words what you already recognize.” At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you have a good time and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Without any doubt, that’s the surest sign of a successful first date.

Yeah that is one of the things I am looking at. Most of all its crows feet. But if you do have hot lips then I will be staring. I have been wearing some gay chap stick lip balm but it smells really good, so I would probably be licking my lips but only because I like the flavor of my junk and you would be like oh this dude is into me. Wrong I am into myself. That doesn't sound right but sorry it's the way it goes.

I can't believe you are supposed to sit next to each other. Fine next date that girl is sitting right next to me. I don't care if she doesn't like the idea. We are starting off on the right foot and that way she will be able to see wear my hands are going and she can say stop it as soon as she hears the zipper. If I only knew, I would have been killing the first dates. They need to come out with second date advice now since I am a pro at the first date junk.