10 things he is thinking on the first date

Dr. Love is in the house. I need to be playing guitar, drinking some soda and going to be, but instead I will hit you all up because I know you are waiting. So lets get to it. Glamour has taken a bunch of idiot guys and asked them what they are thinking before the first date. So I am going to take each guy and what they had to say and give him some advice. Lets hope he lands the girl of his dreams like I helped that fat funny guy I was telling you about in the last post. Here we go:

1. Gerald 29 "I tell myself, Don’t embarrass yourself and ask a lot of questions.” Questions are good, I am full of them like "do you mind if I stare at this other girls butt as she walks by." See what I did there was ask a question-engage her so that she is part of the conversation, and also be nice, polite about it, don't get mad if she says no just roll your eyes to make her feel bad. Plus you basically know at that point she is a prude and your not going to hit that night so you may want to leave now.
2.Dan 20 "Is she the type of girl who will think it’s cheesy/over-the-top if I open the car door, or will she think I’m a true gentleman?” She will think your cheesy I am sure-these girls always talk about being independent so I just sit in the car and wait for her to open it for me. Most of the time they don't but the good ones will If she doesn't wait a few seconds and then drive away while she thinks about what she has done wrong. Text her later and apologize and make up an excuse. She will want you back I am sure of it. Also never open the door to the place your going, allow her, let her feel like she is actually doing something on the date not just looking hot. Girls these days want to feel valued so let them. Let her order also for you. "I will take the steak" And for you sir? Stare at her until she orders for you. "He would like nuggets and ranch oh no nuggets, then tenders."
3. Michael, 25, Hoppington, Mass."What the hell is she doing with me?!” I have no idea Michael, probably just bored and didn't want to sit home alone. No way she is actually interested- I learned that the hard way.
4. Mark, 27, St. Louis, Mo. "Uh-oh, she’s a lactose-intolerant vegetarian. What am I going to feed this girl?” WTF Mark what do you really expect to get out of this girl. She is more trouble then she is worth unless she is really hot then you stick around but if she is just average run now.
5. “If things go well, when is the next time I should call her?” —Rob, 27, New York City. Don't call her Rob let her call you. She will if she liked you enough, if not she will have already kicked you to the curb and on to the next guy. Your probably thinking things went really well, she is quite the opposite, saying how do I turn this guy down nicely. I will wait a few days then tell him I have been thinking this over for the last few days and we are just better off as friends, good luck with that Rob. Your gonna get a call either way don't worry.
6.“I worry that I’ll make a joke about something, start laughing, and then she will not.” —Jim, 24, North Attleboro, Mass. All girls love a guy with a great sense of humor. Normally it is on the top of the list which is probably why I have had so much success. I am good with the zings so I never have had to worry about if the girl does not laugh, I only worry if she laughs to hard and embarrasses me with her loud laugh. Try having that problem Jim, being to funny that no girl wants to be with you because their stomachs hurt from laughing too hard that they are in pain by the end of the date and they actually have to say we can't do this anymore because you are too funny. Think about that Jim before you start complaining about not being funny at all. Walk a mile in my shoes if you can make it without killing yourself from laughing to hard.
7.“Before a first date, I am usually thinking about topics to keep the conversation going and reminding myself of manners.” —Chris, 22, Wayne, N.J. Yeah I always think it is a good idea to right them on your body. Just have topics all over like favorite color, how do you like the weather so far, if you were an animal what would you be? That sort of thing. I even write one on my junk in case I get lucky that way I have something to talk about while we are hitting it. Yeah so hold on oh yeah do you like that and also if you could have one superpower what would you have? What do you mean shut up I am ruining this, that is it I am out of here. Oh and one more thing hold on let me find it(looks at upper thigh)" What is your favorite rollar coaster?" Rebel Yell- backwards or forwards(winging it right now like a true pro) ok ok I'm leaving jeez.
8. “If I take her to a scary movie, will she grab onto my arm?” —Corey, 29, Salt Lake City, Utah Maybe, but normally I do the classic move where I cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket and just slip my junk through it that way when she gets nervous she grabs a hold of that. Surprise!! You will feel like an idiot though bringing in your own popcorn bucket like oh no I already have a bucket I just want the popcorn please. What do you mean you already have your own bucket and what is with the duct tape on the bottom, don't worry about it kid just load it up with freaking butter would ya your killing my date right now. It's worth it though.
9. " Don’t screw up. Don’t screw up. Don’t screw up.” —Paul, 22, Brooklyn, N.Y. Your gonna screw it up Paul sorry to tell you. Don't worry there are tons more dates your going to screw up in your lifetime your still young.
10."Am I going to get lucky?” —Paddy, 27, Ireland You got to be kidding me with that name, no your not going to get lucky. Even though girls do love a douche with an accent so maybe if you really play the Irish part up and wear like all green and say top of the morning to you, stupid girls will eat that up but then you can never not be the Irish idiot so be careful with that.

That is all guys, I hope you take my advice because it is there to be used, not laughed at. I know what I am talking about which I think should go without saying but I just say it to remind you all that I am Dr. Love. I didn't give myself that name that would be stupid someone else gave it to me and it just stuck now everyone calls me that except my friends and family.