Alright so this is my first blog so bare with me. It will only get better I promise. So what the f am I supposed to write about. Lets see, what is on my mind? Well american idol is back on tommorow night. Why do I care or even know that? Yes ellen is on it, but that wont help. I hate when she dances by the way. It is always the same couple of moves, you would think after all this time she would have someone teach her a few moves that she can add to her arsenal but no, she keeps trotting out the same weak moves and people keep loving it. We have to demand better dancing from our emmy award winning daytime hosts. Plus the way she dresses, and the fact that she looks way to much like a dude. Yeah your the dude in the relationship we get that but you dont have to play it up that much. We get it that you are the pitcher but dang it roy halladay enough with the vest and the guy haircut already.
Anyway about idol, everyone always says they only like the beginning of idol, where they make fun of the people basically, but I really dont even like that part. Its to mean. Really the best part of the show used to be when seacrest was like "seacrest out." I loved that part. What happened to that? Why would they throw that line away? I mean they are obviously not above riding the show into the ground so why not do that with the line also. I mean Randy keeps trying to push the dog line, but that is not nearly as sweet as the "seacrest out" line. Enough idol talk. I hate that I know the "seacrest out" line.
Did you hear about this: Tiger Woods may be gay. Boom I just hit you with a shocker right? Yeah ok. One of the sluts he banged wants to sell a tell all about how she saw tiger woods having consensual sex with another guy. She is not naming names but my guess is ernie els. I mean he is a top ranked player, I can't see tiger going for someone outside of the top ten. Mickelson and Tiger don't get along, and who would take charge out of the two of them. It would just end up as gay wrestling with the ocassional slip into the hole which neither would really get off on. Els "the big easy" seems perfect. I mean he seems laid back enough to just let the tiger take control. But also he is obviously a competitor or else he would not make it to the top ten. So he can let tiger do his thing but then if tiger gets out of line he is like "hey chompers, I have won 3 majors myself so enough ball play already." I wonder if the caddy is in the room during all of this. "I would recommend taking els from behind now tiger, but its up to you sir." I hope the fans, when tiger does decide to come out of hiding, really give it to him. I love to see tiger get all bitter when someone is taking a picture during his backswing, and it should be even sweeter this year. Does it really matter if Tiger never had sex with a guy, its out there now that he did, so we are going to believe it because that is what we do. So thanks to that slut, now every time I picture tiger woods it will be him gettin it from another dude, most likely ernie els. Thanks for that gross image Loredana Jolie, who is hot by the way. Tiger is like "you know what Loredana you are hot dont get my wrong, but I have had girls like you way to many times now, if you have banged one playboy model you have banged em all, so I think I am going to pass, I got the big easy's butt just waiting for me in the other room. Not every day you get a chance to give it to a u.s. open champ." I wonder if tiger rocked the green jacket during his and els match play. Literally poking fun at him that he has never won the masters. I know that burns els up inside among other things. Ohhhhh
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