My work here is done

What do you think I was taking a picture of here to show you guys? Yeah the dad's outfit is right.

I went to a comic convention the other day in D.C. Normally I am not into that kind of thing but I heard it was a place to see hot girls who seem to not know that they are hot or even care.

I show up there by myself, which I know is risky but no one else would go with me. I am just walking around minding my own business like always acting like I am looking at comics when really I am just trying to check out the girls. But then this guy with his family comes waltzing by, they would stop at every booth and pose even if no one was taking a picture. Man did he think he was so high and mighty with that outfit. I was dressed up also. I was wearing an old hulk outfit, but more like the lou ferrigno hulk where basically I was just painted green with a wig on and scowling the whole afternoon- so angry. The people who told me I should go said everyone dresses up at these things but of course I get there and I think there was maybe 8-10 people dressed up. That includes me and this family. Needless to say I felt like an idiot.

So this guy is just strutting his stuff like he sewed the outfit himself or something. Big whoop you are walking around in a store bought Mr. Incredible outfit. As he walks by there are a few people at the booth I am at, while I am looking at batman trading cards( I bought 3 packs and got a limited edition Joker card in one of them) and they are like going crazy saying oh the incredibles can we get your picture. I don't see the big deal so I make a face like who cares. So dad must have seen the face because he goes- you got a problem hulk? And then I was like well not really I am just looking through these xmen trading cards trying to figure out which ones I have which ones I don't (making it seem like I am really into this stuff) so he was like "thought so."

Right then I turned from David Banner to the hulk on the inside and maybe on the outside a little. I looked down at my hands- they were green, I looked at my arms, they were green. At that moment I was the hulk. Then I remembered I had painted myself green before so it wasn't real but it was too late, the switch was made.

As he turns and walks away to pose for more photos, I was like you know what actually I do have a problem sir. (You see how polite I am being at this point by saying sir.) He goes oh really what is it, and I say first off those boots you have on are ridiculous looking they don't fit at all and they are like flat like you got your foot ran over by a car. What size are those anyway? He quickly responded 15's and I quickly responded yeah but those don't fit you, I mean what size do you normally wear, so he quickly responded 10's. So I quickly responded- yeah not so impressive anymore sir. (Still keeping it respectful) Also you can't even fill out those undies you got on. He looks at me like I am gay, so I knew I had to clear the air by saying-what I am not gay or nothing I just noticed when you were taking the picture how baggy your underwear was and that you really had no shot of filling those briefs out. That didn't seem to help to break the gay ice so I basically came out and said listen mr.incredible you do nothing for me but your wife on the other hand she does a little something (I winked at her, don't know if she liked it, I could not get a read on her.) He said really, while pounding his fist into his other hand, the universal signal for I am ready to fight. So I said I also noticed how big your wife's chest is and how unlike that is of the character she is playing. So the guy was like hold on first your looking at my junk and then your looking at my wife's chest. What are you some kind of bi-perv? So I was like, I thought I made myself clear- I am not into guy's, do you not get that. Your wiener size was just a normal observation.

Then I thought it was the perfect time to not only to try a second wink at the wife but also say"don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." By that time security is over and they have to break it all up and tell us to go our separate ways but I think I really turned some heads that day. I made my mark again. I felt like a real superhero you know?

The last month or so I have been on a journey not only to better myself but also better the world and others. I think I really helped the world by putting that guy in his place, no one else would stand up to that guy, not when he has that outfit on- yeah it helped that I was dressed as hulk, giving me that confidence but I knew what needed to be done. Old me would have let him just walk away but not the new me, I will take any chance I get to try and put a man in his place in front of his wife and kids now.

So if I have any advice to give you it is don't be scared of a man dressed an a incredibles outfit. He may look muscular but look at his junk it's small and he knows it. Also don't stop at just two winks, as we were getting broken up from the whole thing I winked again at her and I noticed as she walked away with her family, she looked back at me and smiled. I announced to the crowd at that moment "my work here is done" and sprinted out as fast I could. They slow clapped for me as I ran out.

Bunny ears

Do you know what I hate? I hate when people give the bunny ears in pictures. I mean I really hate that. Well last week I am at the park just walking around minding my business. I was actually sitting on a bench sitting on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I love it when the sandwich is smooshed like back in the day on field trips. So anyway I am just sitting there minding my freaking business when some guy out of nowhere gives his kid the bunny ears. WTF? There goes the evening.

Now I could have done three things here.

1. Ignored it and let him think he was funny, let him think he actually came up with something brilliant. I was about to actually do that but I was just fuming inside. All I could picture was that smug guys face when he develops those pictures and he pulls out the one with the bunny ears and he dies laughing and gives his kid the old nudge with the elbow into the ribs like "I really got you son."

2. Yell out "Nice bunny ears, is this 1985?" Zing. That way imagine how dumb he would feel when a guy just grinding away on a bench embarrasses him in front of his kids. The purpose behind this is that next time he thinks about bunny ears, he thinks about the time he got the old rabbit out of the hat trick pulled on him, which means, oh man I don't know, I was just trying to connect rabbit and bunny but could not, either way he would think twice about doing it because one he knows it is not that funny and also that I could always be around the corner or on a bench with a pb and j.

3. Take a picture of him doing the ears, then develop that picture, then photoshop me into the background giving him bunny ears. Basically he would have no clue what hit him, because why he thinks he is getting one over on his kid, I am getting one over on him. I would somehow have to get his address to send it to him but at that point I was so mad I could barely think straight, but I figured getting this goofs address would be a piece of cake if I just fake complimented him on the bunny ears and said haha nice one, where do you live? Oh really stafford, no I mean exactly like street name and everything, haha I love those bunny ears classic. Yeah that easy to get his address and send him the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander picture." Actually I'd say hey what was that you just did on the pic with your son, with the fingers? And he is like oh this(doing the bunny ears, showing me like I don't know) and I am like yeah what is that? And he is like bunny ears. Oh haha that is funny, you just made that up? He is like no it's been around for years. (I would love to say exactly but I hold back) And I am like man that is funny, where do you get your pictures developed? He tells me of course, then I take my photoshop picture to the place he gets it developed, pay the guy behind the counter to replace his bunny ear shot with mine, then wait until the guy comes in to get his pictures, tail him home and watch as he opens the pictures, waiting to just crack up until "wait who is this guy giving me bunny ears, ruining the shot? Oh that is the guy who said he never heard of bunny ears yet he was behind me the whole time giving me bunny ears. Son of a! How did he get behind me there was no room and you mean to tell me he knew what bunny ears were the whole time. Ohhhh man. Then I sign something like never do bunny ears again on the back. And go apologize to your son now!

So which one do you think I am going to choose?- Yep number 3, I am still working on the photoshop part of it but here is the photo I took that day. I already took down where he gets it developed and he fell for the "what are bunny ears" trick I played on him. Everything is working out perfect. Also I did kill my pb and j still but it was not nearly as sweet as I hoped. This guy almost made me lose my appetite. Thanks guy, but don't worry he will get his.

I hate bunny ears!

Truck stop?

So of course I am driving home the other day, and what do I see but this numb nut in the pic standing on the side of the road with his freaking truck stuck in the tree. I wanted to get home to see the Olympics- and this guy obviously wasn't going anywhere and curling was on during the middle of the day and I am loving on some curling right now. He was waving his arms as I approached, all crazy trying to get me to stop. I just kept on going, but as I drive by I yell no time sorry buddy really I am truly sorry. I doubt he heard any of it because my windows were up. But then I felt bad and turned around.

So when I roll back around he starts saying something and I am like shut it right now dude, my first question for you is: (What do you think it is, yep) Why the F is your shirt open with nothing underneath and why did you just cut the sleeves off of a plaid long sleeve shirt? Do you know how cold it is out here? Of course he starts yapping again but I really didn't want an answer so I am not paying attention. I did hear him say something about his arms being to muscular for the shirt, and it really is not that cold unless the wind blows. Whatever.

So I get out and I am like so what is the plan. Trying to give him a little respect before I shot down his idea. So he is like well if you could just drive me over to the gas station right down the street I could call the fire department and also have someone meet me there to pick me up. I play along with that idea for a min but really I am not going for that at all. So we argue in the middle of the road, I push him, he doesn't push back(figured that- yeah he is all show with his muscles.)

I say to him this is what we are going to do. How good are you at climbing trees because I am like a cat? He looks at me like I am an idiot- I say look you’re the idiot that got stuck in the tree. How the F did you even get stuck up there? Again not really wanting an answer, but I did hear something about black ice. So I say well this is your lucky day because I always carry a two person crosscut saw that is 6 feet long in my car, you think you can handle that. He says yeah so I rip my shirt off of course and say let's get to work. And let me tell you, it was cold even when the wind didn't blow, he must have like under armour skin, but I could not let him see that I was freezing. Plus I knew once I got sawing I would be fine.

So finally we get up there and just start sawing away, just like in the cartoons. I was much better with the saw than him, but slowly we worked this numb nut's car down to the ground without it falling. He did not believe that we could do it but we made it happen. You should have seen the look on his face. He really wanted to hug me but I told him a simple chest bump would do. You could tell that was awkward for him and that made it that much sweeter. I was like what time is it-he said 4:45, I was like thanks a lot man you made me miss curling. He was speechless, I think because I was so helpful and that makes me feel good. Like I am really making my mark in this crazy world. Here is the truck after we got it down. He wanted to be in the shot but I was like get the F out of the shot sleeveless, you already ruined one.

Carry Out

Sick beat, goofy lyrics. Overall pretty good song. Just saw the video last night, had to put it up. Of course Timberlake doesn't break it down in it. Man this is a song he could get down to. He needs to get back into it, it's been too long.
Timbaland ft Justin Timberlake:Carry Out

Oh yeah!

Tell me how freakin hot this is.

I don't know why I just saw this because it has been out for a little time but man what have I been missing.

Can you guess who this is?

What the F?

BOOM didn't think so. Man I can see not shaving for a few days in the winter when you know your not about to get any. Yeah your getting lazy, rocking some gross sweats, looking all frumpy, I get it. But this is the biggest night of your life Monique, you could not have taken 15 mins, no in your case a good hour to really wack through that forest, make the time. Or get that dude who is so proud to stand next to you, hand him the mach 3 and let him go to work for awhile if you get tired. You are taking the rugged linebacker look just a bit to far. And if your going to get lazy just stop hiking the dress up like your proud of your hairy ham hocks because those aren't something to be proud of.

Hey mama

Hey Mama. This is an older song by Kanye West. It is off his second album, late registration. The song is dedicated to his mom, obviously, about what she meant to him and how he appreciates everything she was and did for him. She actually passed away from complications due to plastic surgery in 2007 and I know this is all old news but I am just giving the background. So here is his grammy version a few months after she died. The youtube version is not the greatest, its classic youtube, some dude filming it straight off the t.v. with the volume going up and everything but it still moves you. The song is good to begin with, but when you think about her death it makes it heartbreaking. The part at the end when he sings "this life is all a dream, so my real life starts when I go to sleep." That is stirring.

This one's a screamer

Scary movie was on today. I love that junk. I actually still bring it up that and the second and third one. Those were the last good spoof movies and it is still funny today. So here is a clip from the first movie and the third movie that I love on.



But wait there's more



Let's see that again, that is so disturbing.

About you

When I went back over these blogs, I realized that is seems like I am talking about someone in particular. Well I am. But the thing is that person has never read this blog I am 100% sure about that, and I am 99% sure that person never will read the blog. So if you are reading this and have read it, that means I am not talking about you except for right now, because I am talking about all of you right now. You all with the big egos thinking I have been talking about you before this.

Man what the F am I talking about?

Imagine if that person that I am talking about somehow does stumble onto my blog one day two years from now and is like oh this seems like it could be about me but because he says "if I am reading this then it's not me" when really it is about that person. Hmm so confusing. Anyway so it is clear, I would bet my can't hardly wait dvd that person won't read it ever, but I still won't say the name just in case and also I like to have a little bit of mystery. But to your readers, don't you worry the things I say are not about you. I know, sorry to disappoint. Unless you are that person and then they are about you- but I know your not so.

And if you are that person I'm talking about- Everyone this is private between me and that person who I think should know it is them. So you guys don't need to read the rest. If you read it then you must think I am talking about you but I am pretty sure I am not so don't read further.

So if you are reading this part you are that person then. So whats up. It has been a long while huh? Anyway I hate small talk but I will get that dvd to you as soon as I can. And also what the F are you doing reading this blog? How do you even know I have a blog? Also I hope you like Jennifer Love Hewitt in the movie as much as I do. Because she is hot in that movie. Also look for Jason Segal in it like in a bit part, what am I saying I haven't even given you the movie yet, so I will just write this stuff down for you when I give you the movie rather then doing it over a blog I didn't know you knew I had. What the F?

snip snip

I remember this show for some reason and had to put a clip of it on here. I still talk about this show with Joey. We still rock the scissors(snip) part. I love that little midget- is that politically incorrect- well to hell with that, no one's going to tell me what I can or cannot call him right?
It is from The assistant with Andy Dick- a reality show on mtv, it was funny. Yeah I know an mtv show that was funny- amazing.

Here is the clip, it's long.

Ten things

Not that I hate about you, even though I could come up with atleast that much. But no it is in glamour ten things your man never needs to know. Now this again is coming from a dumb couple of girls who thinks they know what a man needs to know. They are idiots about this so I am going to break it down since I really know what the heck I am talking about.
1. The number of guys you have slept with:
Wrong- what guy doesn't want to know if he is going out with a slut. You should definitely tell him, but first if it is like 25 which I am sure it is atleast that for most of you ladies, tell him it is somewhere between 10-30. That way he has fun with it. He can be tossin and turning thinking ok ten that is alright, 30 oh man can I actually be with this slutty girl. That will give him some real confidence issues and in the end it will only better him.
2. What happened the time you got food poisoning
Again wrong. I don't like to think of a girl as never throwing up or blowing it up. I hate it when a girl never admits to that stuff. She is only human so go ahead and tell the guy, the more graphic the better, I see it and really get into the story with noises and stuff. He will love it.
3. Where you learned your signature sex move
Ok well if he already knows your a slut since you told him about number 1 then why does he care how you learned the move, maybe he will think "oh she had 30 other guys she was just perfecting the move for me. That's my little slut"
4. That no matter how happy you are you still pine for your ex
There is where I agree with them, I don't want to hear this alright, I don't care that you love his chubby stomach, that he can be funny every once in awhile, that he can be kind-of interesting- not really interesting but still, no I don't want to hear about this guy, I mean how can I compete? I can't so stop it. Wait who am I talking to?
5. Mustache bleaching
What, I would love to hear about this, better yet I would love for you to stop bleaching it because I am crazy for a girl with a good stache. I am sitting here trying to think about how a girl would do a mustache ride, anyway stop bleaching it now, and start growing it, no hitler though, no one can ever rock a hitler anymore.
6. That you snoop around his email, and call log just to see what you really think of him:
so they got another one right- I would hate this. First off I would tell you everything, mostly except that I love your belly, I won't tell you that cause I don't, nor will I tell you that I like your dance moves if I didn't and I won't tell you you look good if you don't but other then that anything you need to know I will tell you so never snoop around in a guys emails and text, just freaking ask.
7. Your best sex:
What the heck do I care- you have been with a bunch of guys, of course some of the dudes were gonna knock it out of the park, even if they were chubby.
8. That braceface was the nicest of your nicknames in middle school:
This one is stupid
9. Just how hot you think his friend is:
Yeah this one you should probably not say but since I really don't see any of my friends, if you see any of them, I would say for you to tell them I said what up. Since I don't see them that often you probably won't either so it is no big deal.
10. That you once hooked up with your best guy friend:
What? I thought that dude was gay, you mean to tell me you hooked up with that guy eww. That is what I would say. Of course I would judge every guy you hooked up with anyway so just throw him into the list of many. I would be like oh that guy is a loser. Oh man you love guys who are not sweet, not funny, no passion, and your like I beg to differ about the passion because he killed it many time, and I am like I am sure he did but is he this flexible and then I proceed to do the v-sit and reach( with the meter stick and everything where you are like holding my legs) and your like no he wasn't that flexible but who cares, then I am like what about pull-ups, how many of them can he get( I knock out 20 right in your face, your reading the paper by now) then I am like come over here and count how many push ups I can do in a minute. You say shut up and count yourself (your getting really annoyed now), so I do, and I do 90 or so, I may have cheated on the last few but you weren't watching- your not impressed, and then your like why am I even with you and I say I will show you- I will be back in 6 minutes flat, then when I return from my sweet mile run to show you how good of a catch I am, there is a note saying I left you for a new guy(he is a douchebag, I'm sure) and all your stuff is gone, and I am like man she packs fast, then I check the clock and am pumped about my 6 min mile, then I go watch the Olympics, and teen wolf. You on the other hand go wax your mustache because your insecure about it and think the new guy may hate it. He probably will. But what can you expect when you date a loser.

Teen Wolf

Me and Joey were discussing how sweet the movie teen wolf was. It comes on t.v. all the time but I think it gets overlooked. Anyway, we were acting out different parts of the movie, talking about Boof and Scott making out in the closest and he scratches her back. Remember that? And Stiles and Scott surfing on the car. Remember that? And when Scott plays the general in the play. Remember that? How about when Scott actually turns into the wolf turning the basketball game for the first time and everyone is like what the F. This is one of the sweetest scenes in all of movie history, especially with the sick song playing as the wolf is just running it.
If you don't know about that scene you better get on it. If I see any of you readers around then all I want to talk about is teen wolf. I don't care about the other boring stuff you want to talk about, because I know it won't be as good as Scott's reverse throw down. Nor will it be as interesting as the song. So get yourself familiarized with the scene because it is a must know. Get on it now!




Alright, let's play a little ball here.

The drama!

You know what!

That's where it should be all along.

Turning to inspiration:
I did find a song that always gets me going, it is the song from the trailer of where the wild things are: This is the live version, its Wake Up by arcade fire. I love the neon in their concert.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq6M4PWKvq4

It is actually kind of sad but I still like it. The chorus is really sweeping and the first riff is raw and catchy. It is like the verse is you breaking down and the chorus is lifting. Sweet.
Here are some lyrics:

Somethin’ filled up
my heart with nothin’,
someone told me not to cry.

But now that I’m older,
my heart’s colder,
and I can see that it’s a lie.

Children wake up,
hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don’t grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We’re just a million little god’s causin rain storms turnin’ every good thing to rust.
I guess we’ll just have to adjust.

There you have it. May it inspire you. No? Not surprised.

Bring it

Ohhhh Bring it to me, Bring your sweet loving, Bring it on home to me!

Yeah

Yeah

I have decided this girl is now hotter than Marisa Miller. She is the new Marisa Miller in my eyes. Her name is Candice Swanepoel. She is also a Victoria Secret model. And she is ridiculous looking. Someone last week asked me who a ten was in my eyes. I said I have only seen one in person, but this girl would definitely be a ten easy. Far and away, she makes everything else seem well pretty weak.

Jessica

I used to hate on Jessica Simpson, but that is probably because everyone used to like her so much. But now that she seems to be down I think I am starting to like her more and more. John Mayer didn't hurt her situation at all with me either. I actually went onto her twitter page and although it is not overly interesting, it says enough that I even went on there because I have never looked on anyone elses twitter page before. I saw she has a show on Vh1 coming up but I saw she said stuff about inner beauty and that sort of stuff. That doesn't sound like something I would be into but I guess now with my new love of her I have to give it atleast one minute to see if it is any good. If she looks hot enough I can maybe watch it but she better not be wearing those mom jeans. No amount of inner beauty can help that.

And?

And here I am. I am an INTJ it seems. An INTJ Jung personality type description says I may be:

INTJ
loner, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, not very altruistic, not very complimentary, would rather be friendless than jobless, observer, values solitude, perfectionist, detached, private, not much fun, hidden, skeptical, does not tend to like most people, socially uncomfortable, not physically affectionate, unhappy, does not talk about feelings, hard to impress, analytical, likes esoteric things, tends to be pessimistic, not spontaneous, prone to discontentment, guarded, does not think they are weird but others do, responsible, can be insensitive or ambivalent to the misfortunes of others, orderly, clean, organized, familiar with darkside, tends not to value organized religion, suspicious of others, can be lonely, rarely shows anger, punctual, finisher, prepared.

Now I am not all of those things. Definitely not, but many of those traits I do have. I would like to think I am happy but I am not very organized. I don't think I am lonely or punctual. But for the most part I agree with these. Man I really see that I am sweet after I go back over and look at them. No wonder I am so close to people and people can't get enough of me. I actually have to turn down friendships- oh wait that may be the other way around? Maybe I am just being pessimistic right?

Here is what another site says about INTJ:

The INTJ’s unique style can have varied effects on others. Some find their manner of speaking and behaving strange and feel uneasy around them. Others are attracted by those same factors, especially those drawn to the apparent solidity and confidence that stems from the INTJ’s strong belief in their knowledge.

One of the greatest relationship challenges for the INTJ is their frequent awkwardness with and disdain for traditional niceties, such as small talk, that commonly lubricate social interaction. Because these activities are not based on logic and superficially seem to serve no clear purpose, the INTJ may view them as inefficient and pointless. Furthermore, since, the INTJ’s abstract big-picture thought process does not lend itself to improvisational facility with the concrete issues that make up most basic social conversation, they may find it extremely difficult.

Another challenge for the INTJ in social settings is their tendency to be misunderstood. Often lost in thought, the INTJ may seem aloof or uncaring when, in fact, they are simply focusing on the powerful stream of information constantly barraging their imagination. And because the INTJ is skeptical of whether others can accept or understand this intricate inner world, they may hesitate to share it with others until their trust has been earned. The INTJ, in relationships, is often skeptically searching for that rare person that they feel safe bringing into their vision due to a foundation of underlying shared worldview elements.

The overwhelming forces generated by romantic attraction and connection can be difficult for even the most social of personality types to fully grasp. For the INTJ, they can prove downright baffling.

The INTJ tends to value a mate who is strong and independent and can “hold their own” in discussions and dealings with the INTJ. Especially when immature, the INTJ may be intensely and mutually drawn to the freewheeling, fun-loving ESFP, but the ideal match for the INTJ is the ENFP. The passionate, idealistic, personable, creative ENFP complements the detached, rational, strategic INTJ.

There you have it. How freakin sweet am I. I now only want to talk to ENFP's I guess. But only the really creative, hot ones, with a really flat, hot stomach please. Do I sound like I am hard to impress because I don't want to come off that way. I think you may be just thinking that now because it was on the list earlier. Actually I am easily impressed. As long as you are very creative with a small waist. That's all. Oh and you need to be able to dress really well. That's it.

Start a conversation

On askmen they explain to you how important starting up conversations are in all parts of your life. Professionally and romantically you need to be able to start conversations. What? Now you tell me. I have been hiding away all this time because I guess I just undervalued being able to talk to people. This site is actually acting is if I want to hear what you have to say and I actually want to hear it at that moment. It is one thing to hear it in a text or email but a whole other thing to hear it in person. Because that means I actually have to give my full attention. What is this world coming to when I am expected to pay attention to your boring talk. Talk about your family, talk about yourself. Blah Blah Blah. Isn't there some other guy willing to listen? Yeah he is right over there. He is waiting so go try it on him. He probably wants to get with you bad enough, he will work through it. And some of the girls I actually gave some time to, what the heck was I thinking. Sometimes you get blinded, and I think I can read myself pretty well but even I get caught up-look back and say what the F? But I guess I was doing what I was supposed to-having conversation. I am proud of myself then, just as the world is proud of me. Right?



So enough about me now I will get into what the site says:

Step 1:

Use inviting body language:

OK, I think I can do that. No I can't I mean it is asking first to smile, which I do when I am entertained but I won't just sit there smiling looking around the room. Then it says "Don't say hi in an disinterested tone." What the F? I kill disinterested tone, I thought that was part of the game I was running now they say don't do it.

Step 2:

Open with an open-ended question

Oh I am good with questions. I kill step 2. I love to start with something like what kind of underwear are you wearing? Or how do you feel about integrity? Or what are you looking at? Or just plain "what"? The what is classic because it makes it awkward right off the back. Especially if I say it with a smile and seem interested like in step 1. I got step 2 down don't worry.

Step 3:

Reword their answer into a new question:

OK say they are like just regular black lace panties. I guess I would then say oh really I love lace, you must love lace huh? Or oh black hmm I like black it is my third favorite color right behind gray and blue, what is your favorite color- top 3 please?

I think I got this one.

Step 4:
Pass on control of the conversation:

It says that human nature teaches us that regardless of what we think, we are our own favorite topic. Well I believe that is probably true but some people seem to love talking about themselves a lot more than others. I have no problem listening when it is interesting. I will either give you control if you show the ability to lead an interesting conversation or I will take back control by getting the heck out of the conversation. I am sweet at avoiding conversation and pushing you onto someone else.

All in all I have learned a few things from this- one I am a horrible conversationalist. Actually I already knew that. But I like to think I can turn it on when I need to. Yep it's that easy. I wish I could have a lot of my good conversations- of any sort- in person, text, email- back because I think I have wasted a lot of them. I only have a certain amount of good material and I don't like to repeat jokes but I may have to, but if I didn't waste the good stuff then I would be in better shape in the future. Thanks for taking all my good stuff- I wasted it on you. I also learned that if you can get the person to just start talking about themselves, everything will take care of itself and you just have to grin and bear it as you sit there and listen to them talk, and throw in an occasional comment to make them think you are listening. "Ohhh yeah. Really. That is so cool" See I am already getting the hang of it. You guys may see me out which I hope, not but you may, but don't worry I will not be faking it with you, I will really be interested in what you have to say. Promise.

I wonder if being a good conversationalist in my own head counts for anything? I never fake it with myself. Well not usually.

The Gift

So in honor of Valentine's Day, which is just such a sweet holiday, I decided to read about it on the glamour website. And the best article was what your man's gift means to you. Now I am sure these are stupid women writing these articles, not men, so I doubt they have a clue what they are talking about. So I am going to tell you what I think each gift means and then I will let you in on what these numbnut women writers think men mean.

Gifts for you:
Perfume-
My opinion: Most likely he doesn't like what you are wearing right now. He wants you to wear something he likes the smell of. He has probably told you he likes what you are wearing but "yeah why don't you go ahead and try this for something different." Basically he thinks you smell.
Glamour: I'd like you to be my girlfriend.
My opinion- can't a guy just not like the perfume his girl wears and want to buy something he likes. I mean he has to smell it all the time also, shouldn't he want to like it as well. Why does it have to mean I want you to be my girlfriend. Not I want you to actually smell good because right now you don't I am just to nice to tell you.
Lingerie-
My opinion: He just wants you to look finally look hot before he hits. Your outfit that you have is not doing it for him. He has a vision of what he thinks will look hot on you, and your idea of that is not cutting it. He won't tell you this straight up because he is a loser but the same black panties are not doing it for him anymore. So put on the ridiculous outfit he bought because I am sure he had to go through a lot of trouble to get it.
Glamour- Let's spice up the bedroom.
My opinion- Yep exactly, no spice because you don't know what looks hot to a guy- nice try though.
Chocolate Hearts-
My opinion: First off you have to dump this guy right away because if not he is either gay or just not that into you and would rather be friends. But if you must hang onto him then get ready because something is coming in the future. And don't be surprised if what is coming is "I am sorry to tell you this but, I just got torn up by john last week. But I still want to be friends. And do you by any chance have any caramel chocolate pieces left from the chocolate heart I gave you last week because I have really been craving that lately, along with wiener."
Glamour- I'm in sixth grade
My opinion- haha that is pretty good actually, they do mention something about being friends in it also. Doing well so far.
Diamond Earrings-
Now I don't think that is that big of a deal but I am sure you girls will. So I guess a guy should know that before he buys it. It is a risky gift because you make it seem so serious that if you think your not on that level everything could go down hill from a dumb gift, something you should actually like. The guy better make sure he knows where you stand before he gives this.
Glamour- Were engaged to be engaged
My opinion- see way overreacting by stupid girls. But the guy should know what he is getting himself into so it is on the guy then.
Two Dozen Long Stem Roses-
My Opinion- What a douchebag. I mean of all the days during the year, you bring her long stem roses. She better have told you before she loves long stem roses and not just because that is what you gave her but actually loves them. I mean they are sweet flowers but so cliche at this point, what a lack of creativity. If you get these from your guy you need to raise your expectations and tell your guy to get a clue.
Glamour- He is trying to look good
My opinion- What a douchebag if that is the case. Who is impressed with that? I would be impressed if he actually had an arrangement that was well impressive. Every guy in the world knows about roses. Who cares if he gives them to you on the day he is supposed to. What a loser. You should be ashamed of yourself for giving him props on the flowers as well, letting him think he is doing well when he is not. It is as much your fault as his then. But I guess it is the thought that counts.
A frying pan:
See I like this gift. It is not about being impressive, look at what I am giving the girl. This is a gift that never needs to be known to people that you gave it to her but it will always come in handy. To me this seems very practical but I know a girl will hate on this because it is not sexy or showy. If you give this you better get her some sweet undies so she will have something to be excited about.
Glamour- Break up with me I am an idiot
My opinion: of course they would say that because they are insecure women who need something to show to their annoying friends. Look at how much my man loves me he gave me(fill in the blank for whatever unpractical gift he gave me). Showy gifts are good but nothing wrong with down to earth gifts also. Don't hate, just shut up and start cooking.
Bath and Shower gel/lotion-
Maybe they just don't know what to get you. You need to start dropping hints. Once again it's your fault your getting this gift. It could never be that the guy has not paid attention enough to what you want or tried to make an effort to see what you want. Nope you get exactly what you deserve.
Glamour- I am intimidated by gift giving
My opinion- See what you did. You now have your guy just scared about buying the wrong thing so now he has to go safe and pick up either roses or this. This is not as cliche but it's right up there. Once again it is your fault. Stop dropping hints then and just say "you know what just give me some crotchless panties and the newest Nicholas sparks book and then we can hurry up and do it because I can't wait to find out what happens in this book." And then he is like "so you don't want this shower gel then? You said you loved the last three I got you, I figured I would go ahead and complete the set." And you are like "are we going to do this or not because Grey's anatomy is about to start and you know how I get when I miss part of it?"
A computer or other electronic necessity-
My opinion-I don't mind this if you really need it. If it is just the dude trying to have you brag about him then-no not impressed but if it is genuine and you actually need this then it's cool. I like practical.
Glamour-I'm a thoughtful guy
My opinion- see maybe that is what he wants you to think, the whole time he knows you will tell people how thoughtful he is. What a douchebag. Lose him now!
A massage-
My opinion-Girls love this kinda thing but I don't get it. I guess it is not about the guy so it is a good gift because well if the girl loves it and the guy doesn't get it at all but still gives it then he is not thinking about himself at all which is what most guys are doing. Especially if he is picturing someone else's hands rubbing you down with the oil he could have bought you at bath and body works.
Glamour-I feel like I am stressing you out
My opinion-No glamour, guys don't think that way. They can tell you are stressed out and need a day to relax but they will never think it's only them. They will just think they are part of the whole thing like work and your mom, your friends, the kids. It is never just all their fault. Come on.
Plane Tickets-
This is a sweet gift. Unless it's just the tickets and your just riding on the plane. Then he is just trying to pull off the mile high club and turn right back around. But if this entails going on a trip then I love this gift. Romantic and creative. That is what it is all about. He planned it out an advance I hope and was thinking of what you would want to do. Finally this guy is a keeper.
Glamour- He is feeling mega romantic.
Mega anything is annoying. I don't want to hear that word when describing anything that I do or say. Just say oh he is being romantic. That is enough no need for mega romantic. The guy who needs to hear that again has a mega ego and needs to not only be slapped in the face once you land wherever your going, but also needs to be flying home alone(Macaulay Culkin) because he is a mega numbnut. Make sure though you get all you can out of him while you are on the trip. Why not, your already out there you may as well have a good time right?

So there is it the list. They did alright this time. But they seem to think some of these guys are more romantic then they really are. Most of these guys are just losers trying to hit. The guy not trying to hit is the guy giving the frying pan. But he is probably over you anyway by now and has seen you naked way to many times, he doesn't even care to see you like that again. So he is probably like look if I give her this she will leave me alone for awhile so I can go watch the game. You girls have already made up your minds about the guy your with, you don't see what is really there you see what you want to see. So even though I am telling you most of these guys are losers, you just buy right into what they are selling. You will find out soon enough. Don't worry I wont say I told you so.
Happy Valentine's Day- hope you got a good gift.

GET AFTER IT

Horrible dunk contest. These guys just don't bring it anymore. They need to get some of these street dunkers into the contest because they will blow it up. I have seen these dudes online doing crazy dunks, way better then anything we have seen lately.

The first day of the Olympics was sweet. Got to see some speed skating, a little hockey, a little luge, and some moguls. These athletes are sick though. I can not do any of the sports I just mentioned. I am looking forward to some downhill but I will have to wait until the weather gets better.

Alright so in honor of the downhill, I will give you what I am hoping is the real star of the Olympics. This coach was part of the men's ski team for the U.S. and every time a skier would be about to start, he would be somewhere in the background just yelling out crazy things to the skier, I guess just trying to get him all pumped for the crazy downhill action he was about to get up on. He has an insane voice, I would love for this dude to yell at me before any sporting event. So you just have to pay attention to when the skiers are in the starting gate. That is when you will hear the magic. I have no clue what his name is. I don't even know at this point if he is still with the U.S. team, but I am really hoping he is. I will definitely be looking and listening for him. Here are the clips.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY9dW3VfhB0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adIbOdXBDrU

I really hope when you guys watch the downhill, you will be cheering in a deep voice yelling out crazy, manly quotes.
"Come on Bode Miller"
"Get after it"
"Come On"

Opening Ceremonies

Here are my thoughts of the opening ceremonies for the winter Olympics.

1. The biggest moment of the night is lighting the cauldron. How the F do you mess that part up?If you were to decide which part you least want to mess up, that would be on the top of the list. There is no excuse for that fourth column to not come up, you have been working on this for at least two years now Vancouver, and you F'ed it up.

2. When looking at the team's coming through, I was surprised Israel had a person with blond hair on their team and also the stereotype of Swedish girls being hot is true as far as I saw tonight.

3. It seemed like all of the artist were lip syncing- if you have to lip sync, do a better job of it please. Try to fool me like you are really singing.

4. Those Indians freakin killed it. They danced for like an hour straight.

5. I thought for sure Sarah Mclachlan would have some really sad and upsetting dogs and cats sitting by her side while she was playing her song. Does anyone ever get through a whole commercial of hers anyway? I never can, I always turn it.

6. The poet they had looked ridiculous. I mean this is probably the biggest night of his life and he looked like a mess. Not many guys can pull off a neck beard and no other facial hair and he is one that can't. He should have shaved, why would you ever think yep this neck beard looks really good to rock in front of millions and millions. It made him look fat, or was that just because he was fat, I don't know but it didn't help.

7. I liked all of the stuff they did for the luge guy that died. The moment of silence was touching and when seeing the Georgia team walk out and the crowd giving them a standing ovation, that was really nice. I liked that.

8. My sister and I were hoping that Alex Trebek would be the guy who carries the final torch. That would have been classic. "And now to carry the last torch- the host of jeopardy Alex Trebek." That would have been sweet.

9. Gretzky looked all kinds of nervous the whole time they showed him. Maybe he knew something was up and it would not go off smooth because he never looked comfortable. Maybe he is afraid of fire and in that case Trebek would have filled in nicely. I doubt Trebek would have looked nervous. Plus Gretzky and the others looked goofy doing that little fake jog/walk that people do like when they cross the street when they are trying to look as if they are hurrying for the driver when really they could walk just as fast. Well all of the people carrying the torch did that run except for Nash and the wheelchair guy who looked like he was even struggling at first but then must have gotten some momentum cause he started killing it.

10. If I would not have known it was K.D. Lang doing the hallelujah song I would for sure have thought that was a guy. Why would she go for that look, it is not a good look at all and if you insist on that look then get a better fitting suit. She definitely has the money for a tailor, that thing looked like her brother's suit. Again with not being prepared like she just heard the day before that the Olympics were coming up. "Hey Mike Lang, can I borrow your suit because I don't have anything to lip sync to?" I don't know if that is her brothers name but it's not like she would use his last name anyway. That hallelujah song is getting too much play now also. They sung that at the Haiti tribute thing. It's a good song but it's getting overused now.

11. I didn't like the sweater the U.S.A. team was wearing. The cream turtleneck was not sweet. The hat wasn't that bad though.

12. So all in all it seemed like a pretty good night for Vancouver, except for the biggest part of the night the lighting ceremony. It still blows me away that that part would ever get messed up. That and that I didn't see Alex Trebek, who was born in Ontario. Maybe because he is now a citizen of the US, that is why they didn't have him. Still he should have been there.

Mayer and Rude Boy

I read the John Mayer interview that is getting all this hype. People are getting mad because he used the n word and talked about being addicted to having sex with Jessica Simpson. Who wouldn't with her though she is hot, even though I have hated on her in the past she still is ridiculous looking. I actually think the dude is funny and wish his cd's were as good as his interviews were. It is funny that a guy who can be so clever in interviews puts out some of the lame music he does. He can actually rip it on the guitar and it is not to say I don't like any of his songs because I do, but I think he is to worried about being that guy that is funny and interesting in interviews and he really pushes to hard to be that guy. If he put half as much effort into his music, with his talent and personality he could actually do something really good. He gets Grammy nods but that is because there is a real lack of good pop singer-songwriters in my opinion. He is funny and interesting, but just like lady gaga-why do you have to try so hard to be what you already are good at, just to get publicity. Well it works for both of them so why change it I guess. Here is the interview
http://www.playboy.com/articles/john-mayer-playboy-interview/index.html

Song of the week:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e82VE8UtW8A

It's Rihanna's newest song "rude boy." I used to hate on her and she is still annoying to me but ever since she got beat up by Chris Brown she is now making better music. I did like a few of her songs before she got beat up but now she seems more consistent. I don't think she is hot at all as far as her face and hair go. But she does have a crucial body. And in this video she doesn't hesitate to show it off. This is a definite rip off of M.I.A which I hate because I like M.I.A way better but the song is pretty good and the chorus is really good. It actually sounds more like a Beyonce chorus to me. Check it out now because it will probably be on the radio a ton for the next months or so. Maybe every girl artist should get their own Chris brown, that way when they start falling off putting out sucky music, the guy can beat them into shape. Man I would love to date Pink just for that reason.

Opening Ceremonies tonight- why the F is no one pumped, man what is the problem. I am pumped and I think I am the only one.

The new schedule

So I thought about what I said, not making this a personal blog really but trying to get out of it what I want, which is to put things out there that I find interesting. Things I see that are going on in the world, magazines articles, things on the web, things that I like, and somehow mix that with a little bit of me and what is going on in my head. So I have come up with a way to try and do that and the best way possible is to write for six days a week and give each of the days a topic and see how long I can stick to it. I do always have a lot of thoughts going on in my head and there is a part of me that would like to put it in letter form but most of me doesn't want to so I won't. Not to say I never will but I would rather not get really deep and just keep it simple you know? So here is the rundown I am hoping to keep to:

Day 1: T.V./ Movies
Day 2: Music/Song of the week
Day 3: Sports
Day 4: Cosmo/Glamour articles- gay I know but I love those magazines they are always interesting
Day 5: Askmen/ GQ- I will find something interesting like I do with cosmo and give my take on it
Day 6: Misc- whatever I feel like hitting up I guess, if something is really on my mind I feel I need to hit up then I will get to it on this day, or if it's just something I find interesting and it doesn't fall into the other topics well, I will hit it on this day.
Day 7: I rest

These are not hard and fast rules that I can only go by, because, well it's my blog so. I will try, but if something is really hitting me like I got to talk about it then I will just write a second blog on that day or just put it on day 7 and then rest. Alright so for day 1 which is starting today I got a clip from snl. It's on the weekend update. It's called Garth and Kat played by Fred Armisen and Kristen Wiig- who is sweet by the way. They are a singing duo who are singing songs for Christmas day album. Fred Armisen you can tell is improvising the songs and Kristen Wiig is doing her best to try and stay with him during the song. This link is the dress rehearsal but still funny. So check it out, it's pretty funny. They have another one on hulu that is from last week for valentine's but it didn't load for me but that was funny also. I tried this with my family- we were horrible but it is funny to try.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/121885/saturday-night-live-update-garth-and-kat-dress-version

Ladies

Just here to tell you, I heard this on SNL weekend update and had to look it up.

Thongs are fading, they are not trendy anymore so cosmo magazine says give them up and find out which man melting undies you must own.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/fashion/thongs-0210

So to take the suspense out of it- it is boy shorts.
Both are hot what the F, so I don't really care.

I would care more about your stomach and if it may or may not be in that good of shape. So before you worry about what kind of underwear you are wearing, hit 200 crunches then try them on. If you still look chubby continue the cycle until you don't. Or don't do that and let your dude tell you how hot you look in your boyshorts cause they are the hottest thing in underwear now. He will be pleased I am sure, because he loves you for you. That is so nice to hear.

Slow Division

So the big debate I am having is if lindsey vonn blows up at the olympic games where she is supposed to dominate, does she have the marketability of the volleyball players may and walsh. Even though now I just heard vonn is hurt with a bruised shin so that may keep her out she says but lets hope not because well she is hot and is actually a good athlete. So I am in team vonn if she can pull it off while joey is in team may and walsh as having more marketability then vonn. My cousin mike is with me. I need to make team vonn shirts up to wear. I will let you decide.
Here is vonn in the new sports illustrated swimsuit edition:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010_swimsuit/winter/lindsey-vonn/10_lindsey-vonn_1.html
So there it is vonn vs- may and walsh- who has more marketability if vonn actually comes through at the games and dominates like people think she may? Man I can't wait until the olympics.

Thanks for the advice- haha yeah ok

On another note, I have thought about not doing this blog because well I feel like sometimes I am letting to much of myself come out and I don't generally like that but as long as I keep it light then it should not be a big deal and I can get the things I want out of it that I originally prepared to get. This is by no means a journal where I come on here and tell my inner most feelings, I am not sad or upset or feeling down so don't think that, I just feel complacent lately and that my priorities were out of line that is all I was ever getting at. But at the same time it is nice to let it out sometimes but I don't ever want this to become my heart to the world. Also I was never in love, I just wrote a heading saying it and saying "now is the hard part", because I was loving on the girl who I put a post about, "the good dresser", and was saying the hard part meaning if I ever wanted to get a girl like that, that inspires me, that I find stimulating, then I need to step my game way up because you don't often find a girl who can actually dress, and is interesting, and has something about her other then "yeah she looks good, but?" That girl on the other hand- She has "it". Most others just don't- sorry. I have almost settled for something below "it" many times before but things always happen- luckily, saving me, grabbing me back to reality, telling me this is not what I have in store for you, I have "it" when your ready, but your not ready. So now comes the hard part. Getting ready I guess.

Take into however

What the F? I thought the commercials at the Superbowl were supposed to be good. Well they proved that theory wrong last night. There were like five good ones amongst four hours of bad ones. The best one being the Doritos with the little kid. I had to play that one back a few times and it was always funny. Plus I liked the Megan Fox one but that is because she is hot so. The game was alright though but I am not a big Superbowl guy at all, I don't get the hype but I will watch it as long as I think the match-up is interesting. Not just because it is the Superbowl. Of course.

You know what I hate- no not snow, even though I do now hate the snow, but I was talking about taking the first sip of hot chocolate out of a cup where you can't ever tell how hot it is. I am not one of those people that has the balls to just go for it. I mean it took me forever to take the first sip, my lip was shaking I was so nervous. And it ended up not being that bad but I probably still went in a little to early. It was like two degrees to hot, but I don't know how people do it every morning, I can't take the build up of finding out how the first sip is, if I went in to early, to late, I would need a system down where I carry a thermometer and continue to check how hot it is for the perfect cup. I do love those mini marshmallows though. They are way better then regular marshmallows, the tinier the better in my opinion. Like I could eat handfuls of those I think. I know when I used to kill lucky charms I would eat all of those gross cereal first and just leave the marshmallows til the end. Then boom spoonfuls of marshmallows- mini colored marshmallows. Perfect.

In glamour magazine they have a thing about 10 things that make a women hot. So I am going to list them and of course give my opinion. Probably just right overrated or I agree. So here is the list:
1. Your scent: Overrated- I don't care if you smell good just don't smell bad.
2. Your lips- I agree, lips are hot but I don't like the bright red lipstick.
3. Your nails- I agree for fingernails, overrated for toenails. I hate toenails but like sweet fingernails, especially if they are interesting, like not just plain but something I would actually notice.
4. Your eyes- I agree big time. Nothing like hot eyes, I may even date a girl with hot eyes and an ugly face. Never mind no I wouldn't. I like it when they have sweet eye shadow that really makes em stand out.
5. Your neck- overrated
6. Your ear lobes- overrated- I don't like any ear things.
7. Your hair- I agree- hot hair can make a big difference. Obviously I like blonde's but any girl with good hair will do. No thinks Pink.
8. Your breast- Come on now why is this on the list, this is to obvious to put on the list, now this list is looking weaker to me.
9. Your skin- Agree- good skin can be hot but actually as long as it is not bad skin this one is kind of in the middle for me. This one would not sway me one way or another unless it was extreme like really bad skin.
10. Your collarbone- Overrated. Who cares about this?
This is just an average list. They seemed like they were struggling to come up with things to put on it like breast is to obvious and they seemed to miss out on better things that were not so obvious but a lot of guys like. I don't think these people ever ask any men. They just throw them together and figure yeah that seems about right. Guys compliment me on my hair and stare at my boobs so they must like them. Good insight Glamour.

Snow and Stripes

I hate this freakin snow and it hasn't even begun yet. I just have to keep thinking about the furniture I will be able to buy. That gets me through it. That and my ridiculous will power that I have. Cait said she heard like 20-28 inches. Man where the heck is all this snow even going to go. I guess I can't complain as much as I want to, because atleast I have the opportunity to make good money doing this. ManI got gtown vs nova tickets tommorow and it looks like that is not going to happen. I hope the game gets postponed so we get to see it. Anyway onto much better things, like Carolina basketball- oh wait they lost again. Nevermind that. On to much better things for a second time-

The white stripes are finally releasing an album, it is a live album, their first in almost three years. Even though it is not new material, which hopefully soon enough he gets around to it among other things, but I will still be there the day it comes out buying that junk. I love ball and biscuit and live he just rips it so I have high expectations for that one. Also I just read that a new Dead Weather album is coming out in maybe as early as april. I liked their last album, didnt love it but still will be excited for the new one. So finally good things are coming on the music front atleast in my opinion. When is timberlake going to release something new- that dude takes forever. I am going to watch modern family.

I want to just write a new post really saying what is on my mind about somethings because I was kinda bitter but I just watched creflo dollar and realize that those people are really not worth my time. Actually those people are now what will be driving me for the next few weeks or as long as I can use it to continue becoming better. I once read that Michael Jordan used any little thing he could to fuel his fire regardless of what the person's intention was and push him to become who he was, so I am doing that now, anything I can find that sways me, I am using that to push me. No grudge just drive. So yeah some of you have inspired me, just without you realizing you were trying to so really thanks for that. Keep it coming.

What the F?

Here is a quote "What the F!"



"Really"





All my hard work wants to go right out of the building now. But I won't let it.
Thanks though.
Hahaha

Beware- I am killing some people on this one you will see!

A few weeks ago I wrote in a blog called blowout about giving a dude money and helping him out among other things in the blog. So last week at bible study I had a question. So stay with me here because this may get a bit wordy but anyway. So I was saying: take person A. They see a man on the side of the road who is looking for money. So guy A who overflows with compassion and has no problem giving money gives him five dollars. Then guy B comes up and really struggles to give him money. He has to go to the lord and ask for help giving money and the lord helps him and he is able to also give 5 dollars. Well my question was if guy A should go to the lord and go to the point where he also has to struggle say at 50 dollars he starts to really struggle with giving. Now I know you would not want to give that much because that could really affect your life but my point is doesnt he want us to get to the point where we have to go to him in each thing we do. Now my pastor with the help of my mom each gave good answers. They both explained it like guy a is already good in the area of compassion and giving ahead of the guy who is struggling. Guy B is struggling just to get to where guy a already is. Now God probably does want you to come to him but he would want you to go to him in areas of compassion where you may really need him. Like for instance for me I really struggle going up and talking to people, giving money is easy I could do that way before I would talk to someone. So then stepping out of my box and leaning on the lord would be in the area of maybe working in a soup kitchen. So I can never feel superior in that regard, because there are still, even in the area of compassion things I have to really work on. Actually guy B is making more progress to me because he is trying to change. Guy A on the other hand, yes he is more compassionate but that is a blessing, not because he stepped out of his comfort zone and asked the lord for help. I know this is a long question and answer but I got mad at myself a few weeks ago because I felt I could have done more with the guy. Maybe I could have but I think I did my part.

Man the ego people have is amazing. To think you all know me at all is a joke. Yes I am misunderstood, but for some reason some people think they actually get me. Please tell me again how I should live my life.

You know I don't really get people and to be honest the more I try to relate the more I want to go into my shell, my head. With almost every person, every conversation or email or text that I knew was coming I have already had the conversation in my head. And hardly ever do the people meet my standards. If I ever say I am not writing this email for a reply that is a nice way of saying don't reply to me because I don't want to hear what you have to say. I am writing things to get it off my chest, not to hear your weak response. Its like I am never pleasently surprised and just blown away by how someone treats me or acts towards me, or responds towards me, so is it me? Not to say it doesn't happen because it does but those are the rare times that I really love. But not that I have been giving out any inspiring moments myself but I don't talk to anyone so, I have an excuse. Right? It is like I have to go through all the junk to get to one thing that inspires me. So I have to look for it in music or books or movies and spirituality because there are plenty of people in movies that have that certain something where you say man does that really happen. I won't ever tell someone how they should respond or what I expect from them but lets just say most of the time I walk away saying yep that is exactly what I was hoping would not happen but it always does. Always dissapoints. When is someone going to better the conversation that took place in my head? Please someone that is all I want, for me to read or talk to someone and be like man that was way better then I ever could have imagined. Not "man that was not that good." Yeah my expectations are high, maybe you all should raise yours though. You would think now that since it happens so often I would be more negative about it but no I always keep the hope that the conversation will be something amazing so I keep trying putting myself out there hoping to get it back but I am done with trying right now to others outside of a few people. Not talking- that is probably best. I really think it is me though. Because it happens all the time and I don't ever hear others complain about it. I do think that there are people out there who can actually inspire. People do have a positive effect on how I live, they do impact my life all the time, but to me saying something that really takes me by surprise and leaves me really loving - wanting more is rare. Me finding, through all there junk and whatever they are trying to get across, some sort of impact on how I should live my life that is way different then inspiration. Inspiration is someone I strive to be like. And you don't have that. I don't feel as though I really impact people's lives that much either but that is because I don't really get the chance to but that is not on me it's on them. I guess it's the passion. Maybe I think people lack the passion, yeah I think that is it. People laugh and cry and go through the emotions but where is the passion on everyday life. Why is it that something dramatic has to happen in our lives to really get a passionate response whether it be crying or whatever it may be. I think people also lack the depth. Man I am just killing people tonight. Good thing I am not saying any names haha. Sometimes I find myself writing or talking the way I hate when other people do it. I will be talking or writing someone and will leave or reread that and be like man that was awful and a waste of time. Probably what you all are saying about this blog right now. So my point is if we are talking I am sure I already had the conversation in my head and mine was better. I guess hearing your response is part of life, but how about you try and say something that I didn't see coming, blah blah blah, write something that I want to reread not just skim through because it was not interesting enough. We all get those letters that are really good that we have to reread. I have gotten a few in my day. I don't send out the good letters anymore because well it is not in me at this point in my life. I only write boring letters now and for a little over a month- welcome to your world right. Maybe that is the thing maybe all the good conversation, all the good letters are going elsewhere. You know when two people are on a date and it is just painful to watch. No chemistry. That is how I feel most of the time with people, painful. So next time I talk to any of you all please make it interesting. I am sure knowing how I am right now, I wont be interesting but just because I am not being interesting at the moment doesn't mean you can't just be. I can turn it on like that don't worry. Or maybe you think your interesting and I just didnt realize. If that is the case then I apologize, and better luck next time. And I know I am coming across with an ego but I actually have to sit there an listen to this stuff you guys put out and say. And actually act interested. That is pretty hard to do. Lord you are really testing me here making me sit here and listen or read this stuff that is in front of me and act interested. I think I would rather give money. What I really want to say, is be quiet, maybe I should tell you that so your ego is not so big. Thanks but no thanks, just warn me beforehand please so I know what is coming. Actually nevermind I already knew what was coming, I was just hoping for some reason that just this one time I would actually be captivated. Nope!

Monopoly and Hannah

Have you seen the new board for monopoly? I just saw the shot of it on the yahoo site.
http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/108764/monopoly-gets-a-makeover-but-will-die-hard-fans-buy-it??mod=family-home
I don't think I like it that much. First off it says you can use a debit card. Well I don't use a debit card in real life. Actually maybe if I practice on monopoly I won't look like an idiot when I go to use one in real life. But now the board is circular- what the f? I need my classic park place and square board. What is this circle all about? And now it says no more little pieces like the guy kickin it on the horse about to get bucked off, or the boot, or the roadster. No now it is chips. Who ever wants to say yeah I will be blue chip when I could say yeah I want to be the freakin sweet top hat, and then I will always do the classic "how do you do my lady" joke with the tip of my hat to a girl in the room that always leaves the room dying. I have never done that but now I won't ever be able to either. Thanks monopoly guy. Now that joke will not work with a blue chip. I am not a huge monopoly guy(ace ventura 2) but I still like my game as the classic edition. And now it says it has songs and stuff on the new one. Why the heck does it have songs? It says it still retains the Atlantic city streets so at least that is good, I will refuse to play if park place is not on it- that is where I draw the line. Soon they will have Disney "guess who" and scooby do where are you? "clue"- wait they already have that.

Enough game talk, I just wanted to say that I actually really like the song by Miley Cyrus-Party in the U.S.A , and I was listening to it today when I noticed her say "my tummy's turning and I'm feeling kinda home sick." What the F Hannah? No one over the age of 8 should be allowed to use the word tummy and the only reason anyone does is when they are talking to a kid under the age of 8. She actually uses it twice, so next time you are listening to that song, listen for that gross word and make sure your bitter like I am about it. I will still listen to the song but I will always talk over that part. Thanks Miley.
My mom just got a new vacumn- a dyson and she is killin it downstairs doing a showcase for anyone who walks by. I have yet to walk by but I saw her getting red wine and coffee and dirt earlier, just like in the commercial to see if it really does work like they say it does. Oh she just called me, I guess it's my turn to test run it, see if I want to buy one whenever I move.

Doubt

Mark 11:24: Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

As much as I believe that scripture from the bible, I still doubt. I think it is normal and something I have to work through, just another step I think, but that is where I am at right now. As I get closer to God on a daily basis now, realizing how to pray and just becoming better, I ask for so much but I still continue to have doubts about what is going to get done. I see now how lost I was for awhile, and still am in some ways. My priorities were everything else first then God. It was like "oh I will get around to prayer, he knows what I am thinking." Haha yeah he does, he also knows that I was too lazy to get around to it really, and that my spirituality was taking a back seat to life. I hope that doesn't happen again, I need it to be God- top priority, then everything else.

At a bible study recently, as I had been reading some different books and of course I question everything because I am curious and love to ask questions and my mind always wanders. My pastor knows this and knows where I am coming from and tells me it is good to look for these answer, but anyway I was like I know that reading the bible is important but if prayer is our daily way of speaking to and with God, why should we just not read the bible as a history lesson, what should we get out it really because the person next to me will have completely different problems then I do, so how can the bible answer them all individually. Now I know the bible is important but my point was should we focus more on prayer then the bible? What he said to me didn't really hit me right then but it has sunk in ever since. He said that when you pray, you ask for understanding and knowledge, and that your in thinking is in line with God. He will speak to you but also you have not only God but also the devil and your own thoughts going on in your head. Before you make a decision, after you have prayed about it, whatever thought you get, go to the bible and make sure the decision you have is in line with what the bible says.

Now I don't ever do that because I trust my own judgement but why should I trust my own self so much. Yeah I have made a lot of great choices in my life but I have made just as many bad ones also. Trusting in God and trying to only hear his voice is so difficult but I think the more you do it the easier it gets. The easier it gets to not hear what you want to hear and hear what God wants you to hear. In the past 5-6 months I have been hearing only what I want to hear, doing what I think is best and I am embarrassed of the way I acted. I regret some things but at the same time I have to learn from each of them.

The most recent for instance, I was talking online and texting with a girl just as friends but it got to the point where I was so over the top and just typical me -pushy, overbearing, obsessive (I sound like a stalker but I wasn't that bad, just bad enough for my mom to say chris I get you but to everyone else you come off as a pain and too pushy so stop- haha) not pushing her to like me just I dont know just being annoying, haha either way she actually had to say we could not be friends at that point. Her situation had changed, she started talking to another guy which is really cool and I wanted her to be happy and I think everyone needs someone in their life that makes them happy, that was never my issue I just didn't know how to be a friend and just enjoy the friendship she could offer me at that moment however little it was at that point it should have been fine but no. If I wasn't acting the way I was it would not have ever come to her having to say that and it should not have to come to that ever. I don't know if she handled it as best as she should but I pushed her in a corner where she didnt have much of a choice so I don't fault her for that at all. I really didn't expect anything from her but at the same time I enjoyed her so much and don't really know how to be friends, ask my so called friends, so I was doubting myself in the situation. If I would have just relaxed and let the situation unfold naturally instead of forcing what I wanted and needed because of insecurities then I would still have a person I respect in my life that I can talk to. But at the same time it has got me here thinking about it so at least that is good because I am turning a real negative into a positive. The bible speaks about how hard times are good for us because we go to him in those times. I see that now, so as much as I hate the hard times, I like where it has me going and realize I don't want to step backwards to where I was. But another thing, my sister just told me she talked to a girl I used to date awhile ago, they are now way better friends then me and her of course, well she emailed me a few months ago, we did the small talk thing and I thought it was over so I stopped it. Then my sister hung with her the other day and she said she was upset with me because I just stopped talking to her for no reason and was being mean. She even told her husband I was hating. Come On. Haha see told you not a good friend- but I didn't mean anything by it I just thought we were done talking. Now you see my two extremes- one person has to tell me to stop talking to her, the other gets mad that I don't talk. All or nothing once again.

I am very hard on myself, and am a control freak, so the hardest thing for me is to give up control. That is why that verse just kills me, because it is saying not only do you have to believe but you have to give yourself to him. He is not going to just give you something but allow you to still be in control. The believe that God can do anything is easy, the believe that I can let go, not doubt, and that everything will turn out better then I can imagine is a wall I can't seem to climb. But in my reflection I realize my biggest fault(o.k. fine one of my biggest) and it's on me to just trust in him.

On a site I read this: "Submitting to God is loving God, getting as close to him as you can, and drawing strength and comfort and direction from him. God’s directions are seldom that clear, although when the situation demands that degree of clarity, he will give it. Mostly, God leads by such things as vague feelings. That can be frustrating, but it’s our opportunity to let faith rise, trusting God to guide with whatever degree of clarity divine wisdom knows is best, while we play our part by drawing close and listening intently. God and I seem to have an on-going argument. ‘Speak louder!’ I keep telling God. And I think he keeps replying, ‘Listen harder!’ "
Haha that is me, but I see that everyone has to go through this step. I am no different.

I'm gonna leave you with this quote by Jane Adams that sums me up right now moving forward with things I want to do in my life:
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might win, by fearing to attempt."