Start a conversation

On askmen they explain to you how important starting up conversations are in all parts of your life. Professionally and romantically you need to be able to start conversations. What? Now you tell me. I have been hiding away all this time because I guess I just undervalued being able to talk to people. This site is actually acting is if I want to hear what you have to say and I actually want to hear it at that moment. It is one thing to hear it in a text or email but a whole other thing to hear it in person. Because that means I actually have to give my full attention. What is this world coming to when I am expected to pay attention to your boring talk. Talk about your family, talk about yourself. Blah Blah Blah. Isn't there some other guy willing to listen? Yeah he is right over there. He is waiting so go try it on him. He probably wants to get with you bad enough, he will work through it. And some of the girls I actually gave some time to, what the heck was I thinking. Sometimes you get blinded, and I think I can read myself pretty well but even I get caught up-look back and say what the F? But I guess I was doing what I was supposed to-having conversation. I am proud of myself then, just as the world is proud of me. Right?



So enough about me now I will get into what the site says:

Step 1:

Use inviting body language:

OK, I think I can do that. No I can't I mean it is asking first to smile, which I do when I am entertained but I won't just sit there smiling looking around the room. Then it says "Don't say hi in an disinterested tone." What the F? I kill disinterested tone, I thought that was part of the game I was running now they say don't do it.

Step 2:

Open with an open-ended question

Oh I am good with questions. I kill step 2. I love to start with something like what kind of underwear are you wearing? Or how do you feel about integrity? Or what are you looking at? Or just plain "what"? The what is classic because it makes it awkward right off the back. Especially if I say it with a smile and seem interested like in step 1. I got step 2 down don't worry.

Step 3:

Reword their answer into a new question:

OK say they are like just regular black lace panties. I guess I would then say oh really I love lace, you must love lace huh? Or oh black hmm I like black it is my third favorite color right behind gray and blue, what is your favorite color- top 3 please?

I think I got this one.

Step 4:
Pass on control of the conversation:

It says that human nature teaches us that regardless of what we think, we are our own favorite topic. Well I believe that is probably true but some people seem to love talking about themselves a lot more than others. I have no problem listening when it is interesting. I will either give you control if you show the ability to lead an interesting conversation or I will take back control by getting the heck out of the conversation. I am sweet at avoiding conversation and pushing you onto someone else.

All in all I have learned a few things from this- one I am a horrible conversationalist. Actually I already knew that. But I like to think I can turn it on when I need to. Yep it's that easy. I wish I could have a lot of my good conversations- of any sort- in person, text, email- back because I think I have wasted a lot of them. I only have a certain amount of good material and I don't like to repeat jokes but I may have to, but if I didn't waste the good stuff then I would be in better shape in the future. Thanks for taking all my good stuff- I wasted it on you. I also learned that if you can get the person to just start talking about themselves, everything will take care of itself and you just have to grin and bear it as you sit there and listen to them talk, and throw in an occasional comment to make them think you are listening. "Ohhh yeah. Really. That is so cool" See I am already getting the hang of it. You guys may see me out which I hope, not but you may, but don't worry I will not be faking it with you, I will really be interested in what you have to say. Promise.

I wonder if being a good conversationalist in my own head counts for anything? I never fake it with myself. Well not usually.