You didn't even turn back and smile

After I lost my stalker I felt empty, but they were right. So until they come back to me, I will be on hiatus. Working on some other things I need to work on. I have a lot of things going on in my head I don't know if that is good or bad but it is what it is. Since you decided to just pack up your stuff and leave without telling me anything- I am left with an empty household and where do I go from here. Where do I even start? How do I pick up the pieces? Until then- good night cruel world!

Stomp on my heart why don't you

It looks like at the end of the video, the girl doesn't even ask him in. WTF? I mean come on now, he just gave you a huge red Kay heart. I don't know how much it cost but that is not the point, the point is that he was giving you his heart. In return you give him a little friendship peck WTF. I know you all are a bit young but at least ask him in and see where it goes don't shut the door on his face. You might as well have dropped the heart on the ground and stomped it. He was watching his dad and probably heard his dad and mom getting it on which they didn't show and was like man I got to make me something from Kay Jewelers and give it to this girl. She will never know it is from a piece of wood in the backyard and a box my mom had lying around after I write Kay on it. Here is my Kay heart mandy. Peck on the cheek and he is about to tell her the classic panty dropping line "it's the first diamond ever to be independently measured and certified for its superior brilliance, handcrafted by the master diamond artisans at Leo Schachter."Well surprise it looks like she knew. I am actually carving one of these up tonight in hopes of meeting someone I can give my Kay heart to. I don't think it will be on the first date but probably the second date. Who wants it?

Chris it's beautiful how did you know?

I knew because I have great taste in Kay's jewelry.

Don't worry these freaking sweet Kay's clips will be coming all holiday season long. I will even have to repeat them just to make sure everyday is filled with just a bit of Kay's!

That is annoying

WTF? Okay so stay with me here. I write on this blog for months now, not caring who reads this, how often people come here, just going by what people tell me. So I know that there is a stats thing on blogger for your blog but I don't like to use it because the times I have checked it there are people from all over the world checking it and the numbers don't seem to matter much. I don't know how much I believe the numbers cause they would say things like Canada, Australia, Japan, just crazy places which I know or doubt they are checking my blog so I never paid attention to it. I was not and am not writing this blog for a lot of people to look at it. Hardly anyone I know looks at it and I don't bring it up. It was just something I could use to write things that popped in my head. Most of the stuff I think goes unwritten but there are things I do think about that I write. Well I looked on the stats the last week an noticed a blackberry was killing it. So I checked it a few days ago and the same thing. So on Monday I asked a few people I know who read it if it was them and they said no so I was like wtf? If someone I know likes my blog enough to check it a few times a day why would they not tell me. I didn't get to a computer all day yesterday but I saw today that a blackberry never checked it all day yesterday and they never checked it again today. This is annoying on 2 levels:
1. Now I am checking my stats which I want nothing to do with. I don't care who reads it, I was excited and joking around that someone really likes to read my blog but never wanted to say anything and now they have me checking the stats to see what is up. I don't want it to get to that for me.
2. The fact that now that person, or persons is not checking my blog because I said something I assume. Why else would they suddenly stop checking it. Or is it a coincidence that they were just busy the two days after I said a blackberry has been checking my blog an awful lot.
Anyone to me who was interested enough to check my blog a few times a day should be able to say hey Chris I like to read your blog, your funny (of course), joke around more or whatever they want to say. I get bitter that they just say nothing like they are embarrassed that I may know they read my blog. That is what it is here for, that is why it is not a journal. Anyway if you are one of the people who read it daily I would love to know who you are. I will probably check the stats the next few days because I will be curious but that will wear off after I noticed people are not checking my blog. If you don't want to tell me and are going to change how you view my blog then I apologize for bringing it up and also that for whatever reason you can't just get over it and continue reading it. I would never know anyway because all it says is blackberry like I can tell in the world of millions of blackberries the one that is reading my blog. Trust me if you worry you me be found don't worry you wont be and I will not search for you. I don't know how I feel about someone who is embarrassed to say they like my blog anyway. I am just bitter it has come to this where you now can't check my blog for whatever dumb reason you have.

Found one

I am very critical of music. I want to like all music and give everything a try but I just find most of it's really anything I want to listen to on a normal basis. I would love to listen to Christian music because of the message but most of it to me is just not that good. Not interesting or creative enough for me but I am always looking, hoping someone comes along that is good enough. But I was actually watching a praise baby dvd with cooper and there were a few songs made for kids that were actually pretty good. I love the song Holy Holy Holy but I had liked that one before but I found another song on there called open the eyes of my heart lord. So I looked on youtube and really could not find a good one with singing. All of them sounded too cheesy to me but I found one I like instrumental. As long as you know the lyrics it is pretty good. I find it interesting what they did with the arrangement. Take a listen.

Who the F?

I just checked the stats for the second time ever that they have for blogger for my blog. It says that almost half of my blog views come from a blackberry. I talked to a few people who I know check out my blog and they say it is not them. Like today it says I have 13 visits for my blog. One of them was me, one was from Canada which is weird because I don't know anyone in Canada so I wonder how they found me and then 12 are from a blackberry. Who the F is looking at my site from a blackberry. I don't even know anyone who has a blackberry let alone checks my site frequently. Either way, I thank you and obviously you are my secret admirer or if there are a few of you then you are all my secret admirers because I don't know any of you checking it out. So come forward now. Or just keep being creepy in the background, whatever you like I guess. Thank you and lets hope I entertain you. I know you won't tell me if I don't you will just remain silent right? Now I am curious. I don't try to really promote my blog, I just wanted to talk to people who find me interesting but also that I don't talk to on a normal basis. So I don't really care about the stats for once in my life but I still would like to know who reads my blog but if they want to remain anonymous then ok.

The Leo Diamond

And there I saw it. The newest commercial from Kay. The Leo diamond the first diamond ever to be independently and individually certified to be visually brighter.

Every Kiss Begins With Kay


http://www.kay.com/lwp/wcm/connect/Kay/Leo/

I love it!!! As will my lady!!!

How did I not see it- date ideas

You know I should have listened to to the people around me. They know me and I don't think they would steer me wrong.

My friends- the few that I have, hinted not to try with Christin that girl. I said I was just trying to be friends, I haven't even met the girl and they were like well that is all it should be. One of them even said Chris she is not your type it would not work, she is too ncoajlkfk. Haha you get it right. Anyway, I guess they and she knew something I didn't. I wonder what her boy is like, what her "type" is since everyone knows I am not it. Hilarious doesn't seem to be any one's type. *Wink* *Wink*

I found a list online of first date ideas. You know I feel limited when I talk to you guys on here because it is not really all me but it is what I think would be entertaining. I have a ton of other interest but I don't think it would be that interesting to read so I try to come up with something that I would like to read and then I figure well if I like it then you should. So as I was saying I found a list of date ideas. Not like I am going on any in the next 3-4 years, not with the worst track record of anyone I have ever met. Seriously. Imagine me five years from now- best decorated house on the block, and no one comes in or out of it. That's a good thing right? My couches aren't the comfortable type so that should keep people from staying for awhile. Off track So date ideas I saw on here. Well I shall read you some of these and even throw in five of my own but I will not tell you which ones are mine. It's up to you to decide. Also I am not funny at all tonight. I feel like an old guy must when he just can't get it up. He knows he should be able to but it just won't react the way he hopes it should. That is my humor right now. I know I can make funny jokes but it just doesn't seem to be there tonight. I did have some funny zings today but it doesn't matter. So don't expect much from this.

1. Watch an entire season of your favorite show
2. Whisper sweet nothings into each others ears
3. Get up extra early, watch the sunrise, then make breakfast together
4. Paris theme night – get a baguette, some French wine, and cheese for dessert

5. Army theme night- dress up in camouflage and crawl around the room for hours
6. Play board games
7. Play butt naked twister
8. Build a bird house
9. Build a snowman
10. Have a carpet picnic
11. Build a fort with pillows
12. Go ice skating
13. Dress up as ice skaters and try moves in the house
14. Window shop
15. Out for coffee
16. In for hot chocolate with mini marshmallows
17. Swing by a bookstore
18. Swing
19. See an NBA game
20. See an UNC game
21. Visit a psychic
22. Have lunch at a trendy restaurant
23. Go strawberry picking or visit an apple orchard

24. Take a yoga class
25. Take a walk – around a lake, in the moonlight, by the river, on the beach

26. During holiday season, take a drive and view the lights

27. Visit the State Fair
28. Go camping
29. Create a scrapbook
30. Visit a winery

That was not all of them just a few I picked at random. I always say... no I actually don't say anything because like I said I don't date at all so whatever I would have said on my last date I can't remember now, maybe I should have said come over and wtf I can't think of anything funny this is weird I am just sitting here trying to think of something and not laughing at all. Now I know how you all feel. Ordinary.

On second thought again

I told you I would think about the question I was asked "what if Christin that girl read my blog once a month or so what would I think?"

I was probably too harsh when I thought why tf would she read it when she doesn't even say but 42 words to me in a year. But if she wants to read my blog then go ahead. I would love for her or anyone to read my blog. Everyone is welcome. No really you're welcome. I love for you all to see how great I am.

It's good

I just made changes to the me and my lady story. For some reason it was covered in black. I had to clean it up for you all.

My bad

My bad. Can I just say I am trying to build up the tension, build up the excitement for the story. I can feel it is brewing. I bet people are waking up extra early to see if I wrote something last night. And boom- nothing. I apologize but I will get on it today sometime. Also I just got on people for not checking what they wrote to other people on fb- and then I go and make a mistake and say mine instead of my. Now people will be like what an idiot. Haha- yeah now they will- never before this but the "mine" will push it over the top. Until later this is what I have to leave you with. Sorry.

The spreadsheet and me and my lady

Two things: I found a spreadsheet made by glamour magazine that breaks down how many times a person thinks about someone throughout the day and what that means. Like if you think about someone two times it means this. I have to recopy it but that will be coming tonight. So all of you stay tuned because I am sure you are pumped to see where you stand with your partner. Also I am sure you want to know where you stand with me because think about it, if you already are reading this and then you come back later on because you are so pumped for the spreadsheet, you are already up to two. You might as well tell your boyfriend you are cheating, not physically but mentally cheating. Run that by him and see what he says, make sure everything is alright because I don't want to get in the middle of that. Please.

Also I found a picture of me and my wife 40 years from now. Two things about this:
1. We are in pretty good shape and we like to show it.

2. I guess that means I am getting married at some point.

How do we look?

I love my lady's flower. I am sure I gave that to her as a gift right before we posed and right after we took our clothes off. No way we were wearing underwear either because that is not how me and my lady roll. Also she is only average looking which is disappointing but I guess we go well together. She looks like she is getting a mustache and also her gums are a bit big but and her teeth aren't as good as mine but I guess we are happy- we look it. I can't wait. Me and my lady.

One of those moments

You ever have those moments when something just doesn't sit right with you? Where you are sitting there or lying there thinking what you could have done differently? Thinking I should have done this or that, maybe things would have been different. Well last night I had one of those moments as I was lying in bed.

It was about my last blog about skinny girls vs thick girls. It could have and should have been a lot funnier and I apologize to my readers for that. I was in bed laughing at things I should have written and I look back on it and it was just average except for the pic. So I am sorry and it should have been better I know. I will probably do the same thing later with this post.

On second thought

Someone who reads my blog asked me what would I think if Christin that girl read my blog once a month or so, what would I think?

My first thought was why the F would she be reading it when she doesn't even want a conversation- what's the point. To ignore someone when they try to talk to you in real life but then be interested in reading what they are talking about everyonce in awhile on a blog. Let's hope the boyfriend knows, maybe she shows him the posts and says be funny like this guy but don't be annoying like him. Take notes, but on second thought well that is the only thought I have had and I didn't give it a second thought because my first thought seem pretty good but I am gonna give it some more thought today and then I will let you know if anything changes. Maybe I am being too harsh, too critical which I am sure is the case because that is how I always am. I don't talk to all the people whose things I read, but they also don't try to talk to me. But then again I don't think she reads it, it was just a hypothetical like what if you were in a cage with a bear what would you do. We all know though I love hypotheticals so this one I will have to give more thought to. The one about the girl not the bear. Actually I may give the bear one more thought as well.

Also there is a ABC with a line through it on here as an option so I just felt like using it. Notice it earlier. Yep I used it- so clever right.

Kinda Guy

Went to uno's last night- I am a thin crust kinda guy. Also I am not a guy who likes when people say so and so "kinda guy." I guess I just turned into him. I should just end this post write now. Are you thinking- wait he just misspelled right. Well it was to make sure you were paying attention. I was on facebook today- hold on let me just finish my first thought. I was at uno's and I got the deep dish pizza- for my birthday of course. Thanks for the birthday wishes hahaha. My dad said where do you want to eat for your birthday, I told him shut up and drive to uno's and order me a deep dish. He was like well aren't you a thin crust kinda guy, well at uno's I am a deep dish kinda guy now you just ruined my evening for describing myself as a certain kinda guy. That is my uno story other then I only ate half of it of course because I wanted to save it for later- so I will plan on eating that when I watch amazing race. I freaking love that show. I don't have anyone to talk to about it, but what else is new. So I come on hear and say can you believe they got saved last week. And you say wait you just misspelled another word. I said I know that was my way to transition into how people misspell words on facebook. So I was on fb today and I noticed a couple of things:

1. People write the dumbest posts
2. People don't ever seem to check the spelling before they post it
3. People just throw around likes even if they don't deserve it
4. I have the worst ratio of likes to post ratio- 30:5 and one of those is mine- does that even count?

So this tells me that either I am way over hyping my posts or.... well that can only be the case. So I need to find out what I am missing. I think I will leave a post explaining what I am doing tonight and see if I get a like. Also I will find 10 posts that I will like I will go through friends and just hit some likes up see how that feels. I don't even have to like them really just throw it out and see how it goes. I just want one like that's all. Don't give me a pity like either- really like it.

Here is a really good girl singer doing a cover of a sweet song by Jeff Buckley called Hallelujah. In everything I look for in life I want it to take my breath away. I am on a constant search for inspiration in the beautiful amazing things God has placed on this earth for us. Maybe my expectations of people and things are too much and that is why I am left alone just maybe- but I think if we all held out for that- didn't settle, the amazing would come a lot more often. But what do I know, you guys are the ones out living, I am the wait and see kinda guy. Dang it I said it again. That's it.

Two quotes on love

I just saw a list of 100 things to eat before you die. I counted how many I have eaten on the list. It is a big 26. I have closed myself off to so much.

I saw two quotes by I don't know who. They both break down love for ladies and what to look for in a guy. One is a bit more realistic then the other, just read them:

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

"Find a guy who calls you hot, or says you look pretty but most likely is joking around." Find a guy who will just continue to bug you by texting, and when you hang up on him, he doesn't get the point and he calls back asking if you went under a bridge. A guy who falls asleep under the stars when you are trying to have him listen to your heartbeat, totally ruining the mood and the evening, or will stare at you all creepy while you sleep and then when you wake up and see him watching you, he fakes like he has been asleep doing like a fake snore and slowly opening his eye to see if you are fast asleep so he can watch again but you catch him and he fakes again. Wait for the guy who as he is about to kiss your forehead and says I don't know if anyone ever told you this but you have a really big forehead, making you feel very self conscious and not sexy or loved at all He still kisses the huge forehead of yours. Wait for a guy who only wants to stay in at night and never lets you meet his family and friends but insists he is not embarrassed of you just not ready to take the next step which is great because not only may he be embarrassed of you but also he may be afraid of commitment. You guys are about to go out and you have no make up on and you think he may say you look beautiful but first remember he doesn't say that but then he says why are you not ready, and you say I am and he says well no your not because you look not hot like I expect so get back in there and put make-up on. One who is constantly reminding you how lucky you are to have him, that any girl would kill to be in your spot so shut up and let me watch the game and also where is the beer I asked for like 2 mins ago, I am getting all dry in the throat I can barely make it through this sent....(making gagging noise like he needs a drink which you get for him quickly) thanks now let me watch the game in peace. The one who turns to his friends and says yeah she is alright, I know I have done better but for the time being she is not bad. She will do for the next few months. Her face is average, she is a bit chubby but I bought her a treadmill so hopefully she gets the point. If not I'm gone."

It's quite obvious which one is better. I just know the second one is a once in a lifetime type of guy, the other you can pretty much find him at any street corner. Good luck my lady.

Amazing Grace Doc and The Lady

I found this cover of amazing grace. I have always loved this song since I was little and still think it may be the best song ever made. I don't know it's hard to rank and I do love rankings. I need to write up a spreadsheet on that. "top songs of all time" It is haunting yet uplifting which is always good. I always love sparse recordings when they have a dark feel to it and I am into the violin it adds something to it- that haunting feel I guess. I always thought I would like to play the violin but then I got more into the guitar and drums. One day I will learn. But either way take a listen to this song- if you like amazing grace it is a great instrumental version and if you like the violin you should like this song.

My tree

I was beginning to tell you about my Christmas tree when I was somehow taken away into a story about me and an animal print rug and how I will use that to impress the ladies. Let me get back to my original point. So now that I have my own house now I have to do all the decorations for Christmas. No big deal as far as the lights go. I like to keep things real simple very minimal with all my decorating so my lights are no different. The inside though I don't have a ton of stuff, I was looking through catalogs seeing what I like. I know people put out like decorations and little things for Christmas but do they actually change the bedspreads and the the pillows on the couches. I don't know if I will get into all of that. I guess all of that stuff takes time to build up over years. Right now I think I should just focus on the tree. I hate on walmart big time but my mom wanted to go there the other day to get candy so I went there and they actually had alright ornaments. I was looking for just the generic colored ones so I bought the blue and silver. I had maybe 50 or so ornaments before that so I still need a ton to just make the tree look alright but that should help. I don't even know where I want the tree to go yet. Man a lot of decisions to be made. Haha really important ones huh? What a loser that I am actually a straight guy concerned with a Christmas tree in Nov. If you saw me though you would never put the house with me. I don't care though about that. I will get to my looks and all that sometime down the road. My house comes first and then other things.  Oh and I do have candles for the windows and a wreath that is pretty sweet so it should look alright. I am looking on crate and barrel now. A lot of the plates that are sweet are all dessert plates.

Look at those- they are sweet. I don't know what that little fork is but that is sweet also. It looks like a small wrench. Chris do you have a bigger fork I can barely get anything with this- sorry all I have are these little forks. Do your best though. Would you like a spoon? Yes I would(pass him a spoon) WTF this thing is little also. Yeah everything is small because the plates are smaller. I liked these plates and didn't want everything else to look out of proportion so make it work alright or leave.

I am looking through the ornaments. Look at these:

I am feeling those big time. I think I might buy them but I will have to look around more. I need to set a budget on ornaments that way I don't spend like crazy.

In other news: I told you the other day I wrote Christin on facebook. Well she actually responded and of course I had to take it up a notch and text her. Not only that but I texted her at 8 on a Friday night. What time to 29 year old's go out that are dating. I assume right around that time. Mr. perfect timing right. She is probably looking at her phone like oh great I say one thing to this kid in months and now he thinks that is an opening to start texting. Well I did say take care which is universal for I am not going to write again- don't worry. Or is it? Haha. She doesn't have to worry because I learned my lesson big time with her. She is a busy girl with a lot going on in her life and she just doesn't have time for my zings and over the top texting. I can't blame her though it's cool. If she only wants to write something once a month then I am happy with it. I will take it. I was happy when she wrote me this time, I just should not have texted her anything. Oh well I have learned many times now that you can't take text back. Just have to learn from my mistakes. I did tell her I was working on a profile pic for her which now she may think it's just a bit creepy haha. No way I am sending that until she is like yeah go ahead in send it. I think it's funny but that is just me, I do miss the mark sometimes. Not often but sometimes.

There are basketball games on that need to be watched plus I need to get something to eat so until next time.

Christmas list

As you all should know I am a huge lover of Christmas movies. Last year I planned on watching a top 25 list of the movies but I was side tracked. So now I need to get back on the list. I just finished watching four Christmases with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. It was alright but it got me thinking about making a list for this upcoming holiday season. I am way to into Christmas and the holidays but I just love the time, the lights and the music and just everything about it. Anyway here is Chicago Tribunes list of top 25 Christmas movies of all time.

25. Santa Claus the movie
24. Nightmare Before Christmas
23. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
22. Charlie Brown Christmas
21. Holiday Inn
20. The Polar Express- I love this one
19. A Christmas Carol (1951)
18. Dr. Seuss How the Grinch Stole Christmas- Jim Carrey
17. Scrogged
16. Frosty the Snowman
15. Christmas in Connecticut
14. Bad Santa
13. Home Alone
12. The Bishops Wife
11. Santa Claus is coming to town
10. Love Actually
9. Elf
8. A Muppet Christmas Carol- great movie
7. White Christmas
6. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
5. Miracle on 34th Street- I like the newer one better but people hate on that
4. The Santa Clause- one of my top ten favorite movies of all time and my favorite Christmas movie
3. It's a Wonderful Life- how is this not 1. It's the classic Christmas movie
2. Dr. Seuss How the Grinch stole Christmas- the cartoon
1. A Christmas story- alright this is also a classic Christmas movie so that's alright

Also the Jim Carrey animated Christmas Carol comes out in late Nov so I will get that. I have seen more than half of these but I will still put them on my list. I like the Family Guy which is kinda Christmas but didn't make the list.

Someone implied they also want me to always be funny on my blogs- don't talk normal-just joke. Haha sorry. I am not always funny I do have other things going on in my head other then just ridiculous stories and jokes. That is what makes me amazing remember. Or is it the funny jokes that make me amazing?

I need an animal print rug

I figured you need like 300 or so ornaments on a tree if you were to fill it all the way around. Now that I have to fill up my own tree since I am on my own sort of. When I get the chance I stay down there. I hadn't been there in a few weeks and I stayed there last night and when I got there around 9 it was 55 degrees in my house. So I turned the heat on and set it for 65 and it was actually pretty good. I sleep butt naked haha just joking no I sleep in shorts and a tee shirt and actually I sleep with my socks off which is crazy cause I hate feet, but the socks are like the last thing to come off and then I slip them under the covers all quick. You know I realized I barely move when I sleep. I move around I think like switching positions but as far as moving to one side or the other I think I pretty much stay put. My arm has been bothering me so I have been trying to get comfortable with that but normally I lay on my back like I am in a coffin with my arms crossed on my chest. I wonder if I look like I am dead when I am sleeping. So I have two pillows one next to the other but I don't think the other one gets much use. I decided for some reason to sleep on the right side, I think because that is where the alarm is. I only used two sheets last night and I was never cold so that is a good sign for the winter. Maybe I will get a rug like an animal pattern and sleep in front of the fire. That should be romantic, or pathetic since I am alone doing it. But I need the practice in case I ever have a girl over the first thing I will do when she is like can I use the bathroom- oh sure its right around the corner then I sprint to get the rug, then sprint to play the music, then sprint to turn the fireplace on and set the mood with the lighting, all before she comes out. Also I may light a candle, not because she will have taken a dump(hopefully she doesn't because that will ruin the mood) but to set the mood even more, plus I love the smell of the home sweet home Yankee candle. Look I am just running through some ideas in my head so it may or may not work out the way I see it. I just hope I don't get caught mid run because I don't think I can play that off. Then she will be like what are you doing and then I am like oh nothing just getting something to drink you want any sweet tea, also don't mind that cow rug laying there its nothing, man its dark in here. Do you smell that home sweet home. See I know it is risky but it could totally pay off. I was picturing something in my head and I remembered a video that used the whole rug fireplace scene. I know it's gay but it was 98 degrees. You may remember the video if your a girl or a loser guy but near the later part of the video is the rug scene. Now in this video the hot girl is lying on the rug but that will most likely be me trying to do a real sexy face to get her feeling it. Also they have like 80 candles lit but since this wont happen for years I will keep practicing and timing myself to see how long it takes. I would think it may take the girl like 2 mins so that isn't a lot of time but I will have to make it work. Also he proposes to her so we will see how the evening goes if I decide on that or not.



Things I need
1. A girl
2. A rug
3. Tons of candles
4. A sexy look to get the girl to buy into what I'm selling
5. An engagement ring
6. Music
7. Great lighting
8. Oil for me ( I like to glisten)

This post was going to be about my Christmas tree but I will talk about that later. I have a rug to look up and candles to buy. I am betting the girl will come last. Hahaha off to the mirror to get that look down.

Was blind but now I see

Night Cruel World See You In The Morning.

Metal Heart
Cat Power

I just moved down to a 12 I think

Haha I just left a comment. It was the classic fall pumpkin picture. You can't even see her face on it but I said she looked really pretty. Zing, I am cracking up right now because she is gonna look at that in two weeks and be like that is not even that funny. And the picture was from 2009 so why the f would you wait until a year later. Don't tell me it took you a year to come up with that average line. Hahaha that is funny to me. Now we sit back and wait for nothing I guess. Hmmmmm?

"This should be your fall profile picture. You look really pretty here!"


Good one Chris Scarce- you are now a ten in my rankings. WTF?

I had a dream

I had a dream last night, well actually I had a few that I can remember. One involved a kid about 8 or 9 out mowing his yard. So I stopped to help him and the parents got all mad saying he has to learn on his own. I was like well what about weed wacking do you at least want me to help with that and they were like no you need to leave or else we will call the cops. So I left, but I pulled one or two weeds on my way out. Also in my dream I left Christin a few comments on her picture on facebook but we must have been friends because we were talking at the time and laughing. But I am wondering is this a sign. Hahaha. I thought about leaving something last week and thought better of it but maybe I should leave a comment on a picture. Why do I feel the need to go lower and lower on her rankings. I am sure she has breakdowns of all the people she talks to like I do, I don't know if it's out of 100 or out of ten I don't know how she does it but I am sure right now I am holding steady at about an 16 out of 100. But if I leave a comment it surely won't help so at best I can stay the same.

This is what will happen.
1. I leave a average comment.
2. She shakes her head in bitterness
3. Hits the remove button
4. Says to herself man that kid is a lot more annoying then I thought
5. Goes to her spreadsheet and knocks me to a 12
6. I wonder if she thought it was amusing
7. I realize she has removed it and know I have moved down in her rankings
8. I am back here blogging about it

or even worse
1. I leave an average comment
2. She shakes her head in bitterness
3. She keeps it on there
4. Says or does nothing
5. Goes to her spreadsheet and knocks me to a 10 this time
6. I wonder if she thought it was amusing
7. I realize she has done nothing and think "that is the worse thing that could happen" thanks for the dream sign, I totally misread that one.
8. I am back here blogging about it.

I will find a pic and let you all know how it turns out. I can only assume it will be number 2 because that means the least or no amount of interaction with me is needed because if she erases it I will say wtf and then she will have to talk to me but if she just leaves it there she can just ignore it. Imagine if she ever saw my blog- saw my thought process she would be like wtf is up with that kid, but really she doesn't know me well just what she wants to judge me as and she will always think I am that way which is not nearly the person I am.  Everyone makes judgements which is unfair but I do it all the time. That is the way the world is I guess. I can't expect to be outside of it or above it. Even though I do stay far away from it by not having many connections. Her judgement and treatment of me is the only one I have in my life that doesn't sit well at all with me so that is probably why I don't move past it. No matter what I do I can't change it. Pray on it, write her something funny, write her something nice, write her something inappropriate(which I didn't mean for that to be taken like that haha), don't talk to her, leave an average comment on a picture. Nothing changes-no friendship. Decent I guess. 

Sing like me and pose for me can you please try?

I want you to play this song as you are reading my breakdown of this Candice Swanepoel pic.

The song is Chris Brown's Sing Like Me. I know he beats up women but we have to be able to separate that from the artist. Look I don't condone it unless he puts out good music. Then you can continue to hit but if you put a bad song out then I have a problem. You are walking on thin ice Chris Brown, you better only release good music.



Now for the pic.

Why do I love this so much?:
1. Blond Hair
2. Sweet eyes
3. A cross which has to mean she is a God fearing, God loving lady which I love
4. The necklace all the way down in the cleavage, it must be a magic potion in there, for hotness.
5. The belt- I don't know how it holds her pants up but it seems to be working. Who would have thought red and pink would go so well together.
6. The thumb on the pointer finger looking as if she is about to crack her fingers
7. A straight head- girls feel the need to bend the head in all there pictures to make them look hot- not her she just gives it to me straight. I like that in a women. A real straight shooter. Alright enough with the straight talk.
8. Hot nails and spread fingers.

How am I supposed to date a girl when there is girl out there in the world that looks like this. I must apologize to all the ladies but I have to stay single not because I will ever get a chance with her but because you will never be able to match up. Hold up-unless every time I come home you wear this same outfit, and do everything the exact same with the disco ball sitting right beside you as this picture. If you can manage that and cook me nuggets maybe we can make it work. The first day I come home and don't see you there we are through. I will look through the window at the door and ring the doorbell to give you 15 seconds to get ready. At 15 I am coming in with divorce papers in hand, man I run a tight ship. Actually I will give you a Candice Swanepoel picture that morning of how I want you to look and you will have to figure out the pose and the props by the time I get home. So I would imagine you would have a pretty big wardrobe so hey that's a plus right. Just think about it and let me know if your down for that.

Hocus Pocus

Saturday night, all kinds of Halloween parties and I am at home watching football and hocus pocus on ABC family. As you can see ABC family is really a go to for me. Plus is shows re-runs of old America's funniest videos which if you know me, you know how much I love an old person falling. I am not as much on the nut shots more on anything with an old person. I could watch that show for hours and always laugh. Did you know Hocus Pocus with Bette Midler and Sarah Jessica Parker came out in 1993? Shut up no you didn't. I hate when you act like you know everything.

I was planning on after work really slowed down which it is not slowing down like I hoped. I mean don't these customers know I need my Chris time. Don't they know I have other things I want to do. That I am not some loser without a life. Well they don't know, but soon enough I will get back to it. But I was planning on working out but my arm has been messed up for the last week. I am hoping it's not too bad just like a slight tear or strain. I tried to make a dumb sliding grab in the softball game last week trying to make the highlight reel and landed on my arm hard when it was extended out. People said it looked sweet but not only did I get hurt but I didn't even make the grab. It bounced and hit my glove so so much for that. I can move my arm it's just the strength is not there. Hopefully another week and it will be alright. So I will have to push the working out back a few weeks until its good to go. But, like I said before I was planning a diet so I will give you a day of my diet. I know your thinking it's gonna be peach tea or soda and chicken nuggets but it's better then that for you, even though that is what I would like to eat.

Meal 1
oatmeal
2 eggs (whole)
banana
cup of milk

Meal 2
tuna
slice of bread
olive oil (1 tbsp)
tomato

Meal 3
1 6oz chicken breast
1 cup white rice
salsa
1 tbsp ranch (sweet- you know I could not not eat this)

meal 4
8 oz ff yogurt

meal 5
1 scoop protein
banana

meal 6
2 scoop protein
2 white bread
peanut butter

meal 7
dinner- I may cheat here sometimes but try to get chicken breast and vegatables

meal 8
8 oz yogurt
1/2 cup almond
tomato

There it is. Not the most appetizing diet and I am sure I will cheat a little bit which is fine because I am already in pretty good shape but if I stick pretty close with it, I will be in way better shape because I am not happy with where I am at right now. I will make more meal plans that way I don't get sick of it and I will eat out from time to time because my family loves to eat out so. This won't start for a few weeks until I know I have the time I can time really stick to it.

I told you I would update you on writing that girl on Facebook. Well thanks for being a good friend and allowing me to. She ignored me again. Haha no she didn't because I wasn't dumb enough to say anything. And you all would have just let me say something to her. Thanks! I was coming up with something about a mustache and Halloween which last she would have cracked up at a year ago but I doubt it now. Sure I would love to talk to her, I miss talking to her. Everyone has people that they just connect with and talk really well with and that was what it was like for me. I don't think it was the same with her or else she has a weird way of showing it. That is all it was. Fine she has a boyfriend- she doesn't want to talk and she has made that obvious so why the F should I continue to make a fool of myself trying. It is not going to help anything, and it will only get on her nerves in the end. I hope one day she gets beyond all of what she is going through and we can talk because it is all on her, and not just say hey how are you doing blah blah blah because that is not how we talked, not even from the beginning it was way more interesting then that I even told her she looked good in a picture ( you couldn't make her face out-zing, it was actually Halloween because I think I called it creepy pumpkin picture- or I thought it haha.) She actually could keep up with me as far as zings go. Don't get me wrong I wiped the floor with her but she tried haha. I guess coming on here and saying I was gonna write something gave me time to think about it and realize the mistake I was going to make. I guess every time I am about to do something I should write it on here and then a day later realize it's a dumb idea. Alright well I have to go watch hocus pocus. Maybe I will be inspired to write more tonight since I took the last few days off.

My bad- my message

You were probably thinking after my last post - hey Chris- you idiot you didn't load the video so now we don't get the jokes you just zinged at us. Well you would be right because I messed that whole post up. It was funny in my head and then I forgot to put the video up and man once again I mess everything up. Anyway I did post the video and now you can go back and see it in all it's glory the way I meant for you to see it.

Now that I ruined that I think I may ruin some other things. I love to out of the blue write people. I find it funny that they hardly ever respond. Every once in awhile they will respond but generally they disappoint. They can't help it I guess- they just don't have it in them to be interesting in one letter. Nor do they get where I am coming from. I think it is too out there for them. What is he talking about he hates when straws get a small cut right at the top of them and then drinking out of them is a pain? I just made that up I never have said that but really I do hate it. Anyway there once was this girl who blew me away with how well she responded. It continued on and on until-one day- stop. Well she left me with the words "I hope we are still decent." Or something like that. I don't get that now because I have no problems with her so decent seems to mean more like silence now. I continue to write in hopes that decent will one day mean we can actually have a conversation. I guess if you are dating someone you can't talk with someone else. Ok. Well I am planning on writing her something on facebook tomorrow. Just something small, a little interesting, a little me I guess. I got her bitter a bit ago and rightfully so for one message I left, so I think I learned my lesson even though it was taken out of context I think and it was me just trying to be funny to her but I totally get where she was coming from because it was inappropriate. She hasn't responded since then.

This is how it will go:

I will write her a very very average- probably below average "write something."
She will see it a week later when she checks her facebook or whenever she checks it- how the F would I know.
She will then say to herself- why the F does this kid keep writing me. First off I told him I was with someone, second off, doesn't he get the point, I don't want to talk to him at all.
She will then ignore what I wrote and then we are back right here in the same place of getting ignored.

His jokes are way better. I guess.

Wish me luck with the post on fb. I will keep you updated on the ignoring. I will play if off for awhile like oh she hasn't been on or oh she just hasn't gotten around to writing me. She is really busy. Then after a month I will say man I don't think she is gonna write. Haha. Even if her boyfriend writes me like listen creepy guy stop writing her, and also check out our pictures of us making out for a top ten kiss at the beach and then you will realize why she is with me. That would be sweet then I would be like this dude is way sweeter than I can ever be no wonder she suddenly stopped talking to me. Hopefully he is like Pat Healy on Something about Mary because she was a big fan. I could never hate on chompers like that.

You hired me to find your girl and I did, and the truth is I started to like her:

Best Kisses

As I was putting up my post for the David Gray videos I noticed the video for best kisses ever. How was I gonna pass that video by (then I went on to notice there was like 50 more at least which I did watch all of them.) So I decided to get my old pen and notebook out and take notes. What was I missing? How could I make my kiss a top ten worthy kiss?

What I was missing
1. A girl
2. Rain (not all but alot of them)
3. Confidence
4. Slow movements
5. David Gray's This years love

Those five things seem to be crucial to making a top ten kiss.

It seems like there is a few ways I could make this happen.

1. Me and the girl look deeply in each others eyes and we just realize we have to kiss right now because this is the perfect moment I mean it is raining on us and we just realized how in love we are and we get all serious and boom our lips just touch.

2. One of us is so madly in love with the person and the other person likes us but is on the fence. It is up to me to make a move so I just get some balls take a few deep breaths and go for it. The people around me are stunned if there are any. I can't tell if we spin or if that is the camera but I am all for spinning.

3. I just grab her head and pull her to me like get over here were kissing and making a top ten moment now shut up and kiss me.

4. We just rub our faces together for awhile until we finally get it over with and kiss.

5. I pick you up and lay you on the bed all slow. I assume your bigger then me so this could be tough so the laying on the bed could be more like a drop but we can play that off. Then again we go back to slow movements and I go at your neck like a vampire for a second but decide not to bite you but kiss you. I am sore the next day from picking you up.

6. I wear a mask and hang upside down I'm like pssst over here and you decide to take my mask off but only to my nose and we do like a real awkward upside down kiss.

So there you have it, or there I have it- now if I can just work on my list of what I need I should be there in no time. Isn't it supposed to rain today. Also with the Halloween stores open I can get a mask. Keep your eye open for me popping upside down today waiting for you. Also I will have the cd player on the ground if you could press play for me since I will be hanging I won't be able to reach it. We can try the other kisses later.

Did I copy this?

So awhile ago I was talking with this girl and we were at her car and she was like I am with this other guy I have to go and I was like what- your bored slut! You would not think about me if you weren't and you know it. And she called me a few names and I was like you need to just stay with me cause I am not bored. And she was like why would I stay with you, we are already fighting. Then I was like oh that is what we do. Your a pain in the butt(yeah that is what I said) and she was like so what. So then I was like coming up with all these crazy lines like this won't be easy, this will be hard, and we will have to work at it everyday but I want you, I want all of you forever, you and me everyday.(Where the F did I come up with these lines?) Also I was coming up with crazy hand movements and she was like doing this annoying whimper. So I was like can you do something for me? First stop fake crying cause that is annoying and then picture your life 20 years from now. ( I kept it at 20, I don't care about 30 years from now.) (Again she was shaking her head all annoying) What does your life look like? Is it with that guy? Am I in the picture in the background all creepy or am in with you with my arm around you, are we at the movies or on a picnic, how do I look, how do you look are you still hot or did you gain a lot of weight? Then I was like are you with him if so Go, Go( pointing towards the road for her to leave but like pointing forward then left then right so she knew how to get out- so nice I know) I lost you once and I think I could lose you again if I thought that's what you wanted. She was like you never had me to lose me, I was like not now during my speech. Don't take the easy way out. She was like there is no easy way someone will get hurt either way. I was like shut up and stop worrying about what others want. What do you want? ( This was my moment to win her back so I was really getting into it, my one hand over my heart to show how I feel and that if I let it go it would break so I was basically holding it together with my hand while the other hand was going up and down to show her how important this was to me. Then I put my fingers together like an Italian who loves meatballs.) WHAT DO YOU WANT? ( I knew for sure I had her right then) (Moment of Silence- wait for it) She says- I have to leave. (My heart just broke so I quickly put my hands over it then I just walk away into the woods to gather myself and she drives away and I haven't heard from her since then. I guess my speech didn't work. The other guy won.

But then I realize the other day while watching the notebook on ABC family by myself that there is a scene that is almost exactly like what happened to me a year or so ago. I never watched the movie but one time it was playing at best buy and maybe as I was checking out the tv's I heard this scene playing and it all just got into my brain. There is no way I would have knowingly copied the movie but now I feel like an idiot. I know she was like man this dude is stealing lines straight from a movie no way I am picking this guy and who could blame her. I mean I was thinking this was the best speech I ever made how is she not with me and the whole time I was just copying it. No way the other guy she is with does that. So I have to say she probably made the right choice because I am sure that although his speeches are lame they are at least his own original speeches. I am so embarrassed.

Here is the clip. Also I went ahead and put Indonesian subtitles on it. Untuk apa you ask. Well, just in case anyone wanted to translate it over to Indonesian- always thinking ahead. For you all of course.

This years love and the girl next door

Two things I love: the girl next door- the movie- (come on now) and this years love by David Gray. I thought at least let me pamper myself today and put up things I love on.

Here is the clip from the movie with the song in it. I would say a breathtaking moment but that is just me, you all know how much of a romantic I am. I would mess that up in real life like spill her drink on her or say something dumb and ruin it like I do. Then be all mad at myself like I had the perfect moment and I had to go and mess it up. Then she will be like look I can't see you, I had the perfect moment set up for you and you couldn't pull it off, I need to find someone who can sorry-don't talk to me, loser. And yes I carry a radio with this song on it all the time just hoping for this moment.



Here is David Gray doing the live version of this year's love

I now have to get married at some point just to do the first dance to this song. Why? Because that is what I picture. I am not going to be one of those husbands who just sits back and lets her pick everything- as you can tell I am pretty interested in things going on around me. I mean a lot of the stuff I don't care about- like how she looks or if she is happy, but things like flowers and music- the important stuff that is what I will be about. But this song will be played. If she says no then wedding is off and she will have to tell everyone because I will be out looking for another bride.

Where we stand in our relationship

Why the F did I not tell you that I am watching supernatural. I mean if we are going to have this kind of give and take- well hold up, I give and you say nothing back to me, and I give more and you just read and say nothing back to me as if you are ignoring it. So if we are going to have this kind of relationship where I sit here and right serious things and you read it, then I should tell you I am going to watch supernatural tonight. See I am trying to get more intimate, and also I always tell people to watch supernatural because the show is really good but no one ever takes my advice. So there, you are now on the inside of part of my life. I was also thinking of showing you a vase I bought from crate and barrel but maybe I should not get to ahead of myself. I mean come on you don't even talk to me so why should I let you into something like my taste in vases. That may be way to personal. Of course the vase is sweet because unlike my looks, I actually care what the interior of my house looks like. If only you all did the same. But look at me I am a real mess so you could come back at me with that. Or with silence either one. We will see. Off to supernatural.

The light of the night fell on me!

Being cocky and funny early to the ladies

On askmen.com they have a guy on there who answers readers questions about all different sorts of things with dating and love and all that. Now he is no Dr. Love lets be honest, but I doubt you would expect him to be that good but I wanted to see what he had to offer. So I went to the one that is labeled when to act cocky and funny and more. I know your thinking Chris you can't help that you are already funny, you can't not be can you. Well let me tell you now- I can. I have other sides- serious Chris. Philosophical Chris. Charming Chris. Mad Chris. Creepy Chris. Annoying Chris. You get the point- I am like an onion as they say. You guys are just on my first layer- the funny layer. Everything under that gets less and less interesting so you get the good layer. I'll say.

This guy asks when is it too early to use funny and cocky to impress a girl. David DeAngelo- the writer giving advice and the author of the book "Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women."

Well David I would first like to ask you what is the double of zero. Yeah thanks for nothing then. Man if I wasn't busy I would totally read that book. When he says every man he means every man and that includes me and we all know I don't know how to be successful so what am I waiting for. I am waiting for winter so I can lay by the fire and read with some hot chocolate and those mini marshmallows I love so much. I can assume that is what he pictured when he wrote the book.

Anyway back to his advice. " It is never to early to bust out cocky and funny." Good because yesterday I told a girl "you would love to get a piece of me right now" then I followed it up with a "zing"(pointing the finger guns at her like I got her.) Let me tell you David it was too early- she hated the move.

He says most men waste time on traditional "nice guy" things like buying gifts, giving women compliments and calling them all the time. All of these usually have the opposite of the desired effect. They drive women away.

David I don't call I text like crazy so do I fall into this category? "Yes that is creepy Chris stop it"

David goes on to say "Even more importantly, women feel the first spark of attraction for a very different set of reasons than men do. Whereas men focus more on looks, women focus more on "intangible" qualities like a guy's personality, self-esteem and confidence. Above all, women love men who can make them laugh. That's why, when a man is Cocky & Funny, he triggers a primal response inside of women that instantly creates attraction."

I can tell you first hand women love a man who makes them laugh- I am a living testament to that. What guy would not want to pull trim the way I do. And you want to know why- because I make them laugh.Hard! That easy. Every joke I use- I have been using for years. Nothing is original and look where it has gotten me with the ladies- they can't keep their hands off me thanks David. See what I do is just pull the trigger on the primal response inside women. Instantly they are attracted. Ask any women what they wish there man had- they would say he is a nice guy but man he is not funny. Now Chris he is funny, why did I ever choose this loser over him. See what David is trying to say- all you have to be is so funny they can't get enough of you, that is why I had to stay home on Saturday night, not because I am a loser who has to watch football alone- no way no its because I had too much butt in my face that I could not breath anymore. I literally mean butt in the face like I am at the bar sitting trying to talk saying jokes having everyone crack up and then boom four butts in my face like ladies what am I supposed to do with this. I just had to have a night off from that. I needed fresh buttless air.

So David says be arrogant but make it funny and you will have the ladies. And Never Get Stuck In the Friend Zone.  Look David I am already arrogant and funny and I don't get stuck in the friend zone because lets face it you would actually have to talk to them to be friends. Who knew I was doing all David preaches. I should have written the book before him.

Chris Scarce author of "Having so many butts in your face you can't breath and you have to start carrying an oxygen tank around with you and even then you still get butts in your face."

Maybe I will still write that book, it will basically just be a biography so it should be easy.

Yoga! Boom!

I know your wondering what such a cool guy like myself is doing on the computer on a Saturday night, not out with the ladies partying it up. Yeah I live such a wild life and I always kill it on the weekends, actually during the week as well so it should be surprising to you but I just needed a break. I just had to tell all the people expecting me out that I would have to sit this one out. They were heart broken. So tonight I will just be watching the Miami game that is at the half right now. Looking for new music, doing my basketball fantasy breakdown that I do in order to get my back to back championship, catch up on shows I don't have time to watch because I am so busy partying, and updating this blog if I think of anything sweet or just whatever I guess. Who am I kidding, everything I think of is sweet. Well most of it until I turn all douchebag and then you don't want anything to do with me.

I have done yoga before and it was actually pretty hard. Much harder then I thought it would but it was nothing like this.

Couples Retreat yoga:


Boom! Boom! Nothing like a wink at the end. Love it. Boom!

My bad

I am an idiot as you all may know by now but for some reason I put Richmond Community Center wtf? Like you guys actually went to check out the podcast- well if you did I don't know if you noticed that it was not what I was meaning to talk about. It was actually Richmond Community Church. So the podcast are on there- I guess if you want you can check out Richmond Community Center if the site exist and let me know how it is, if its worth checking out because I am obviously a numbnut if you didn't pick that up by now. I don't even know what Richmond Community Center is but I assume its going well for them and they may even have sweet podcasts. I am talking as if people actually went to check it out and I know you didn't but anyway my fault. I stand corrected.

Mine is

You all should know by now that I like to listen to sermons on podcasts while I am working among other things. Today I was listening to the junkies and the other day I was listening to a Yale lecture on philosophy. It is sweet you can get lectures from different schools on itunes and also learn out loud which I was listening to the 5 love languages guy Gary Chapman- his podcast all of last week. I recommended it to someone but they didn't respond to me but they and you all should check it out. I have a lot of time to listen to these podcast so I am always trying new things to see what is good and what I just don't need to download anymore. So I saw this one girl's likes on facebook was Richmond Community Center so I decided to check it out because that is how I am I am curious. So I went to the webpage and they had podcast. So I downloaded a few of them and listened to them over this week. They had one on tell the truth, make the honor roll, crave contentment  and a lot more. I thought it was pretty good. It is very easy to listen to and relate to which is good. As I was listening I can definitely place myself into what he is talking about and figure out what I need to work on in my life. It is positive and you want to change after you hear them so overall it is a good message. The only thing I would like is a bit more theology. I know that is not for everyone but I like a lot of theology in my sermons to really push me learning wise and and humble me. I like both of these approaches though and even though I like the deeper stuff that is kind of dry I don't want to just here that only. So the other sermon like the Richmond church offers is also a good. I guess it depends on the mood for me. I think I will continue listening though but they don't put them out as fast as I could listen so I have to just hit like one or two a week. I was looking for one on bitter because the girl said last year that her church sermon was on being bitter and I always use the word and she liked the message, but I don't even know if it is the same church that she was talking about. I don't talk to her anymore and surprise it is because she won't talk to me- like anyone out there reading this is shocked haha.

So in all the time that I have to think during work I was doing some deep thinking in between podcast listens and I was like hmmmm I wonder what it is that makes girls not attracted to me. I didn't want to take this from an emotional level just a philosophical level- trying to evaluate myself which is hard to do- to take a look from the outside. Now I know a few things about me that are not good to start off with-

1. I never really meet new people
2. I am not overly welcoming when I do meet new people
3. I am at this time not much of a catch looks wise with the beard and the hair and just the overall mess of a man haha
4. When I do get to actually talk to a girl who finds me somewhat interesting I am way too much and wear my insecurities and securities on my sleeve
5. I open my mouth before I speak a lot of times and just say dumb things
6. I get obsessed with things very easily or go the other way and don't care about it at all

Alright so we all know there is many more of those but that is just for starters because I do find that there are some good things as well just they don't get seen as much. So I was thinking about the list I put up a week ago or so wondering hmmmm( once again a long hmmmmm to really let you know I was thinking right Auguste Rodin-get it?) where do I stand on each thing on the list so I will start from the top and see how I am with the first two and work on those unless I don't need to which is very likely the case in which I will move onto the next one. This list won't take long to fly through I imagine.

1. Kindness
I actually thought- yeah I am pretty kind not overly kind but kind. Then I started looking online for over an hour and realized- I am not really all that kind. I am average at best. I don't go out of my way to help people- not to say I don't give money to homeless and hold doors open and be nice to people on a regular basis but nothing that asks to much of me. So the first one on the list and I fail and I actually wonder what the deal is. Haha man well it looks like I need to work on number one. I am seeing a ton of ideas online that I like- giving anonymous money to people for food, volunteering, just pushing myself to be kinder. I am so involved in my own little world that I don't see what is going on around me and that is a shame. I call myself a Christian yet Jesus would not be proud of how little effort I have put in to being kind to others.

Kindness-Fail
I will work on it and keep you updated.

2. Honesty- I pride myself here- I am honest and I know that haha obviously if I am saying it to you it means I am. So I think I pass this one with flying colors. I may actually be too honest sometimes and could learn to hold back a little.

Can't compete

HAHAHAHAHAHA

I like that. You don't know what I am laughing at which means I am probably laughing at you. You know when you can feel people laughing and you are wondering, hmmm are they laughing at me? Guess what- I am laughing at you, well let's just say I am laughing because I think you're funny. Hey take it as a compliment I don't find many people funny. But you make me laugh and that is a really good thing in my book. Thanks.

Why must these ladies try and compete with Candice Swanepoel? It only leads to failure. Haha oh they didn't realize they were competing. Well they are. In my mind at least and that is all that matters in my head. That and that I am starting a new diet in a few weeks and won't be able to kill much ranch or nuggets- noooooooooooooo!

Mannish Boy

I have been on fire lately with this blog. I know you all love that. And thanks for reading this and thanks for the feedback. No really thanks for not saying a word, I appreciate that because that is why I write. I started to keep all the good stuff in a notebook so now you get the leftovers. All the stuff that makes me laugh out loud or should I say lol, goes into the notebook and then you get the other stuff I think about.

I know you have all seen these H&M commercials with the hot girl. Well I am going to post two of them cause the commercial is sweet. The song is mannish boy by muddy waters it's a blues song everyone should know. I think I like the black coat one better:





Man I love how she comes in on the right side right on the beat, that part is sweet. She is hot in this video, I saw a few pictures of this girl and she is way hotter in the video. Also I don't like the jacket that much.

Real song:


I'm a MAN!

Phone

I just checked my phone and wanted to update you on how infrequently I talk on my phone. I have had my phone for over a year and a half now and I just looked on the total dialed mins that I have used. Drum roll please: 4 hours and 44 mins total in a year and a half. So there you have it basically I am always on the phone.

Also I like your chubby arms kinda they are sweet like I could just grab them and pinch em.

Never Again

Remember this song? I used to listen to it as I would cry myself to sleep. Wait hold on that would have to mean I had to have been in a relationship which I actually would have cried over haha yeah ok. And not only that I would have had to have my heart broken. What I would do is I would lay in bed and picture myself crying about getting my heart broken then I would get all mad cause I looked like a pansy in my dream and I would go over to the mirror and I would be like look at yourself, almost like I am watching myself like scrooge and don't like what I see, am I am like who is the girl that I am crying over, and the ghost of girlfriend present shows me her picture and I am like what the F? I can't believe I am crying over her in my dream, and the hot girl ghost is like yeah that is what we all thought when we saw you crying, we were like man Chris really has to get himself together she is not even good looking, but she did laugh at most of your jokes and she also was the only girl to take a chance and you were like well beggers can't be choosers. Then the ghost was like look at the road that led you down. Now your just a whiny loser that got dumped be an ugly girl and your actually crying over her.

See why I don't date. I am just waiting on this ugly girl to come around and sweep me off my feet. Anyway the song:

Justin Timberlake off the Justified album- Never Again- it is a sweet song though, don't know about the video but whatever.

I love this shirt

Now that it is getting cooler, I thought, well we are now starting to wear long sleeve shirts. I thought let me put out a cool picture of someone wearing a long sleeve shirt so you get the idea that it is getting cooler.Yeah I actually thought that. I was like if I put a picture up of someone wearing a long sleeve shirt they will then think oh yeah it's getting cooler out thanks for telling me. Exactly. So I went through the internet to find the perfect picture of things I love all in one picture.

Things I love
1. Hearts
2. Stars
3. Long sleeve pushed up
4. Long sleeve shirt with no pants
5. Blue
6. Blonde hair
7. Ridiculous legs
8. Candice Swanepoel


That's weird that I was looking for the perfect pic and boom I found it. Here we go:

Please dress for the season just like Candice Swanepoel. I don't want any of you all to start getting sick.

Proposal site

I am once again looking on travel and leisure site. They have different ways to search for trips and different ranks or lists for things like best places to go for thrill rides or best hot dogs or best winter getaway that sort of thing. Which is always sweet to look at. I wrote that wrong, I should not have put a period there because it doesn't flow well, anyway. I was looking at most romantic places to propose in the world. One because I am a hopeless romantic and two because I already have the kay jewelry and now I just need the place in the girl. The girl really doesn't matter I just want everything to fit into a good story at the end of my life. The girl is just like the side part. Like I said about David Gray and the first dance at the wedding, yeah that is all for show, and so is the proposing. I would just do something sweet so she tells everyone, it is all about me is how I feel. So of course I am not going to just whip it out anywhere it has to be much bigger then that. I also hate when people do it in big groups or at sporting events, that is annoying. Enough with the attention getting, if you want to be like me and get attention like me then come up with something better, more romantic then you in your skins jersey around a bunch of people who could care less about you. Loser!

I am looking through the list and I will put the top three pics I saw of the 12. I saw Central Park on the list but that is too cliche. Also I don't want to have something again with a lot of people around. I don't want to get turned down in front of a lot of people and knowing me it could go either way- oh whooops too early I thought maybe it was worth a shot but look this was the only time I had available this year to take a week long trip so I thought hey lets go for it, I know we have only been dating for 5 months but hey when you know you know. Plus you had been flirty with some other guys lately so I thought maybe this would distract you long enough to really let me work my magic. Like this ( proceed to do push ups with no underwear on but left my shirt and socks on- my famous look.) So that is a no then. Alright well sir you can come take her back to the plane I need to be alone now, I have some thinking to do. My eyes are up here sir and also don't laugh I just got out of the water.

The Deserted Sand Spit- Fiji

The Pont Neuf- Paris

The Waipi'o Valley- Hawaii

I would have to choose the Deserted Sand Spit- Fiji. Not only because the name is sweet, but also because I like the little hut and it seems secluded enough so when I am crying after the turn down I will be able to let it all out. On the bridge will be embarrassing with all that culture walking around and asking me if I am alright in French, I do want to go to the Louvre though. The Hawaii thing is sweet so maybe I will take myself on a singles vacation after the failed proposal which will add to my story. "Then Chris picked himself up and began his journey toward finding the new Mrs. Scarce. He was an idiot who didn't see all the signs she left him like- Back the F up Chris, or I don't want this at all, or don't call me, or we can't meet now or anytime in the next year. Then Chris said well what about unless here in Fiji. She reluctantly said yes. The poor guy just kept barreling through all for the sake of getting to the proposal. Maybe next time."

Maybe next time I will start with a Love's Embrace in the cabin and if she accepts that during a huge storm then I will know she is mine. Then in a month I will head to Fiji to complete the steps. Then onto David Gray dancing, then to the court house for the divorce, then back to single life and finishing my scrapbook of pictures from all these great times. Oh I will have to knock her up at some point because I want to pass along the scrapbook to my kids when I am gone so my story lives on years after I am dead and buried.

"Bye Dad I love you, I know you do, just make sure you show the world this scrapbook, well there are no pictures of your face in it, yeah I know just tell them my story and let their imagination fill in the rest. Just like I love. Gooooooood Byyyyyyeeeee."

Affair is coming am I right?

So I am listening to this podcast from Dr. Chapman again and it is talking about infidelity. This guest author he had on his show- Dave Carter who wrote this book torn asunder, on how people first get in affairs and what you should do to avoid them. He goes into greater detail about how to save the marriage and all that sort of stuff but the thing that took me back was first that 40% of Christian marriages by the time one of the partners reaches forty will experience infidelity. The second is when Gary Chapman asked Dave how to deal with infidelity and feelings for it, he said that what he suggest to all of his couples that he works with is that anytime you get a feeling of attraction towards someone else you discuss it with your spouse. He said he felt jealous the first time his wife told him, but that it actually helped his marriage to discuss it. He says that feelings for others is a natural thing, connecting with others because we spend so much time with the other sex in our lives that we are bound to have feelings so don't deny it just be open about it.

I actually like this idea but I think it is out there because you have to be so honest and so respectful of the information. Your spouse is coming to you with something she knows you may get bitter about, yet she is trying to be up front so that nothing comes of it so you have to respect that, but man I would really have to bite my tongue but it may be what people are missing. Someone that is naturally jealous may not be able to handle this and then what. I don't know if I would even want to know but also I would want to do what is best for the marriage. Someone try it and let me know how that works out for you. Then when I finally get married at 50 I will have to then like another women and let my wife know. See what she has to say about it.

Hey I am being honest you have to respect that about me right. I mean look at her, she is hotter then you, how was I know supposed to fall for that. Look at her butt. Did I just go to far on the information?

He talked about how most people don't think they are going to have an affair but that you are naive if you think it could never happen to you. He went on to say that none of the people he has worked with actually thought that they would do this, but it just happens. Great!!!

I'm above it.

Update you all

I am all for saving the ta ta's but man do I hate that saying.

Alice Springs Chicken tonight-which means outback.

Wait am I turning into one of those people that update everything I am thinking.

Yeap!!!

Right now I am thinking how much I look like a mix of a lumberjack and Jesus. People tell me the Jesus part but I can't hold up to that look, so I am trying to push lumberjack. Hopefully they don't mind if I carry an axe into outback.

Tall me

Dang you Dr. Gary Chapman, you are completely right. I keep reading your books, listening to your podcast, and keep finding out more about myself. I need words of affirmation like she only knows. Someone tell me I am amazing please. When I pass you by just whisper sweet nothings. Actually don't, I hate the whisper and what does sweet nothings even mean. Just say Chris I really like how your strutting your stuff right now, I really wish I picked you instead of this guy. And I will be like, well we all make mistakes, your mistake is just a lot more costly because, well you choose a nice guy and really nothing else. I would love to sit in on one of your conversations, and fall asleep half way through it. No it's not you guys, I am just really tired. Well guess what, there are a lot of nice guys out there, but there is only one me.. But it's cool he is tall and nice so I get it. Oh and he makes you laugh huh? Wait is this a taller version of me were talking about. Man maybe you did make the right choice, Dr. Chapman now wtf am I supposed to do? How can I compete with tall me- he completes her, I only 3/4 complete her because I am smaller.

I need to go here, this place is beautiful:

Anantara Dhigu Resort & Spa- Maldives

                                                                         One day right?

Don't you let me go, let me go tonight!

Come on now R.

R. Kelly is sick. If he could just stay focused, I think he could really put out a classic. Not to say in my opinion he hasn't because I think tp-2 is one of the best albums ever but that is just me. I would love to see him mix a few club songs, a few slow romantic songs like 12 play, a few old school r and b songs like he covered Sam Cooke's bring it on home to me, maybe one or two religious songs. See he has it in him to make a top 500 album he just doesn't seem to stay focused enough for a full album. So I guess we have to take what he gives us and always hope for more from him. It is the people that push him to make so much club stuff that he gets away from what he is really good at, what really separates him. Here is two completely different songs. One inspirational song, the other about a women's love. As only R Kelly could do.

The list

There is a website that has list that people just make up. If you know me and I assume you do because I, wait why do I act like I have readers, the few people I knew were reading this one said they lost the website, the others are like I haven't checked it in awhile. I know I was busy and stopped writing but I like the outlet. I am working on the website really just writing things in a notebook and trying to get it where I want to be but I take a long time to get things where I want them and generally they pass me by so I have to learn to give a little I think . Anyway to me I guess, since I do entertain myself often, since I always laugh at my jokes, and since I don't get sick of hearing myself like most others do, I will continue. You know though I was thinking, the only people I am close to are the few who basically have to be because they are family. Everyone else I have either alienated or I want to be closer and they want nothing to do with me. Well I am never going to beg someone to talk to me, that is up to them, if I am that bad it's probably best we don't speak because well why would you want to. Your probably better off being entertained by whatever other people you already have in your life. I am sure they are fine. It's on me to just get over wanting to talk to those people. There are a few. Once I really settle into my house I will be such a loner, hopefully an incredible loner in my own head. There are things I want to do and just can't seem to focus. I get so easily distracted but when I have free time I really need to settle down and do it. I am lost right now, but anxious for something you know. People say it is sad how I live, and there are moments I agree with them, shutting myself off and not really knowing a connection with people, not at all, not knowing how to relate to people and understand them, but it is only sad when I try and fail so bad that they have to let me go and they just fade away and I just sit there in awe. But it's the price I have to pay for holding our for only people who inspire me. People I can't get enough of. So yes there are going to be plenty of sad moments for me, but in the end I think greatness is what I continue to hold out for. If only others were so willing to hold out for the same. I just look at you all and say- I am glad I don't have that- but if that is what you want then that is good for you. If only that makes you happy then you are lucky. It's like when you see a kid being entertained with just a block and they will go at it for 20 mins. Were like wtf? How can that still be fun for them. That is how most people are. You are with the block, and I am saying, how can that still be what you want? I only wish I was so simple. I'll wait and watch you all. Because your relationships keep me holding out for better. Thanks for that I guess. Thanks for being so plain and uninspiring that you actually do inspire me for much much better, keeping me thinking my relationships in all aspects of my life, family and love better be way way better then that.

Man I will go on a rant sometimes wtf? Anyway I was talking about lists which you all know I love. Anyway in another post yesterday maybe, I was talking about what girls look for in a guy. The site has girls just listing things they want so I will write some of them down. Ones I find interesting, even though most of them I am not. Here is one girls full list:

1. Kindness
2. Honesty
3. Respect
4. Humor
5. Intelligence
6. Imaginative
7. Affectionate
8. Adaptable
9. Ambitious
10. Non-Judgemental
11. Faithful
12. Tolerant
13. Trusting
14. Empathetic
15. Sincerity
16. Unique
17. Positive
18. Curious
19. Creative
20. Generous
21. Happy
22. Gentle
23. Patient
24. Considerate
25. Uninhibited
26. Helpful
27. Lighthearted
28. Talented
29. Spontaneous
30. Sexy
31. Clever
32. Observant
33. Resourceful
34. Adventurous
35. Enthusiastic
36. Dedicated
37. Persistent
38. Diplomatic
39. Inquisitive
40. Devoted to Family and Friends
41. Sober
42. Person with continuing spiritual growth
43. A man of God- she says here this is the most important quality in her list.


That is a really impressive list. Haha you all should go down the list and see what your guy has. I know for sure I have them all. Haha no I think I am missing a few or need to work on some. Maybe I will never date until I get this list down. I can say that because I don't ever date so if someone asks I can be like no I am working on this list. That way no girl will be able to resist. Also I will be 75 at the time but who cares right I will be sexy to the 70 year olds. I didn't want to say sexy but she had it on her list so I felt I needed to.

Here is another girls list not the full list, just things that stick out to me.
1. Is a Godly Man

2. Makes Me Laugh
3. I wake up just to spend the day with him!
12. accepts me with or without makeup
13. allows me to have plenty of freedom
14. is not jealous
15. is trusting
16. doesn’t have to drink to party
17. paves the way, rather than following others
22.loves my family

23. loves his family
24. wants a family
33. forms opinions and discusses them
43. can carry on a conversation

44. knows how to shut up and listen
45. is open-minded
46. is spirited
47. is compassionate
48. loves acting goofy
52. is there for me when I most need him

53. has goals, and achieves them
54. supports my goals
55. is my best friend
69. understands my past

70. understands my need for independence
71. i want him to try to spoil me (though Ill refuse 2 let him!)
72. can keep up with my shopping abilities
73. likes to travel
89. loves me for me, and nothing more

90. isn’t lazy
91. can cook
92. knows how to do laundry
93. knows how to iron
94. is independent of his parents
95. handles conflicts with maturity
96. treats his mom right
98. has a magnetic personality that makes me LOVE him

That is a pretty good list. Man just when I thought I was close because I was clever and had a good sense of humor. I am way off. Back to the drawing board. WTF I just used that saying last night. Now I am not even clever. How am I getting worse on the what do girls want lists. Also why did they not have- "can pick out sweet furniture better then I can" on the list? Maybe because that sounds gay. Man! The one thing I am good at, maybe I will check that off as talent. Hot girls be warned now, I will be checking off this master list I will make and once I get 75% I will send it checked off in the mail with a yes or no on in and you can send it back to me letting me know how I am doing, if you think I am date able now. I got to get on it now. Lets start at the top kindness-

"My you look pretty today, let me get the door for you my dear" (Tip of the hat)

Kindness- check
onto number 2