Being cocky and funny early to the ladies

On askmen.com they have a guy on there who answers readers questions about all different sorts of things with dating and love and all that. Now he is no Dr. Love lets be honest, but I doubt you would expect him to be that good but I wanted to see what he had to offer. So I went to the one that is labeled when to act cocky and funny and more. I know your thinking Chris you can't help that you are already funny, you can't not be can you. Well let me tell you now- I can. I have other sides- serious Chris. Philosophical Chris. Charming Chris. Mad Chris. Creepy Chris. Annoying Chris. You get the point- I am like an onion as they say. You guys are just on my first layer- the funny layer. Everything under that gets less and less interesting so you get the good layer. I'll say.

This guy asks when is it too early to use funny and cocky to impress a girl. David DeAngelo- the writer giving advice and the author of the book "Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women."

Well David I would first like to ask you what is the double of zero. Yeah thanks for nothing then. Man if I wasn't busy I would totally read that book. When he says every man he means every man and that includes me and we all know I don't know how to be successful so what am I waiting for. I am waiting for winter so I can lay by the fire and read with some hot chocolate and those mini marshmallows I love so much. I can assume that is what he pictured when he wrote the book.

Anyway back to his advice. " It is never to early to bust out cocky and funny." Good because yesterday I told a girl "you would love to get a piece of me right now" then I followed it up with a "zing"(pointing the finger guns at her like I got her.) Let me tell you David it was too early- she hated the move.

He says most men waste time on traditional "nice guy" things like buying gifts, giving women compliments and calling them all the time. All of these usually have the opposite of the desired effect. They drive women away.

David I don't call I text like crazy so do I fall into this category? "Yes that is creepy Chris stop it"

David goes on to say "Even more importantly, women feel the first spark of attraction for a very different set of reasons than men do. Whereas men focus more on looks, women focus more on "intangible" qualities like a guy's personality, self-esteem and confidence. Above all, women love men who can make them laugh. That's why, when a man is Cocky & Funny, he triggers a primal response inside of women that instantly creates attraction."

I can tell you first hand women love a man who makes them laugh- I am a living testament to that. What guy would not want to pull trim the way I do. And you want to know why- because I make them laugh.Hard! That easy. Every joke I use- I have been using for years. Nothing is original and look where it has gotten me with the ladies- they can't keep their hands off me thanks David. See what I do is just pull the trigger on the primal response inside women. Instantly they are attracted. Ask any women what they wish there man had- they would say he is a nice guy but man he is not funny. Now Chris he is funny, why did I ever choose this loser over him. See what David is trying to say- all you have to be is so funny they can't get enough of you, that is why I had to stay home on Saturday night, not because I am a loser who has to watch football alone- no way no its because I had too much butt in my face that I could not breath anymore. I literally mean butt in the face like I am at the bar sitting trying to talk saying jokes having everyone crack up and then boom four butts in my face like ladies what am I supposed to do with this. I just had to have a night off from that. I needed fresh buttless air.

So David says be arrogant but make it funny and you will have the ladies. And Never Get Stuck In the Friend Zone.  Look David I am already arrogant and funny and I don't get stuck in the friend zone because lets face it you would actually have to talk to them to be friends. Who knew I was doing all David preaches. I should have written the book before him.

Chris Scarce author of "Having so many butts in your face you can't breath and you have to start carrying an oxygen tank around with you and even then you still get butts in your face."

Maybe I will still write that book, it will basically just be a biography so it should be easy.