My work here is done

What do you think I was taking a picture of here to show you guys? Yeah the dad's outfit is right.

I went to a comic convention the other day in D.C. Normally I am not into that kind of thing but I heard it was a place to see hot girls who seem to not know that they are hot or even care.

I show up there by myself, which I know is risky but no one else would go with me. I am just walking around minding my own business like always acting like I am looking at comics when really I am just trying to check out the girls. But then this guy with his family comes waltzing by, they would stop at every booth and pose even if no one was taking a picture. Man did he think he was so high and mighty with that outfit. I was dressed up also. I was wearing an old hulk outfit, but more like the lou ferrigno hulk where basically I was just painted green with a wig on and scowling the whole afternoon- so angry. The people who told me I should go said everyone dresses up at these things but of course I get there and I think there was maybe 8-10 people dressed up. That includes me and this family. Needless to say I felt like an idiot.

So this guy is just strutting his stuff like he sewed the outfit himself or something. Big whoop you are walking around in a store bought Mr. Incredible outfit. As he walks by there are a few people at the booth I am at, while I am looking at batman trading cards( I bought 3 packs and got a limited edition Joker card in one of them) and they are like going crazy saying oh the incredibles can we get your picture. I don't see the big deal so I make a face like who cares. So dad must have seen the face because he goes- you got a problem hulk? And then I was like well not really I am just looking through these xmen trading cards trying to figure out which ones I have which ones I don't (making it seem like I am really into this stuff) so he was like "thought so."

Right then I turned from David Banner to the hulk on the inside and maybe on the outside a little. I looked down at my hands- they were green, I looked at my arms, they were green. At that moment I was the hulk. Then I remembered I had painted myself green before so it wasn't real but it was too late, the switch was made.

As he turns and walks away to pose for more photos, I was like you know what actually I do have a problem sir. (You see how polite I am being at this point by saying sir.) He goes oh really what is it, and I say first off those boots you have on are ridiculous looking they don't fit at all and they are like flat like you got your foot ran over by a car. What size are those anyway? He quickly responded 15's and I quickly responded yeah but those don't fit you, I mean what size do you normally wear, so he quickly responded 10's. So I quickly responded- yeah not so impressive anymore sir. (Still keeping it respectful) Also you can't even fill out those undies you got on. He looks at me like I am gay, so I knew I had to clear the air by saying-what I am not gay or nothing I just noticed when you were taking the picture how baggy your underwear was and that you really had no shot of filling those briefs out. That didn't seem to help to break the gay ice so I basically came out and said listen mr.incredible you do nothing for me but your wife on the other hand she does a little something (I winked at her, don't know if she liked it, I could not get a read on her.) He said really, while pounding his fist into his other hand, the universal signal for I am ready to fight. So I said I also noticed how big your wife's chest is and how unlike that is of the character she is playing. So the guy was like hold on first your looking at my junk and then your looking at my wife's chest. What are you some kind of bi-perv? So I was like, I thought I made myself clear- I am not into guy's, do you not get that. Your wiener size was just a normal observation.

Then I thought it was the perfect time to not only to try a second wink at the wife but also say"don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." By that time security is over and they have to break it all up and tell us to go our separate ways but I think I really turned some heads that day. I made my mark again. I felt like a real superhero you know?

The last month or so I have been on a journey not only to better myself but also better the world and others. I think I really helped the world by putting that guy in his place, no one else would stand up to that guy, not when he has that outfit on- yeah it helped that I was dressed as hulk, giving me that confidence but I knew what needed to be done. Old me would have let him just walk away but not the new me, I will take any chance I get to try and put a man in his place in front of his wife and kids now.

So if I have any advice to give you it is don't be scared of a man dressed an a incredibles outfit. He may look muscular but look at his junk it's small and he knows it. Also don't stop at just two winks, as we were getting broken up from the whole thing I winked again at her and I noticed as she walked away with her family, she looked back at me and smiled. I announced to the crowd at that moment "my work here is done" and sprinted out as fast I could. They slow clapped for me as I ran out.